e. So I thought she was kinder
"set up on her pins," and I shouted louder:

"Victoria _Brown_! Aint you afeared of me? Aint you afeared I'll tell
Prince Albert of your _dooins_?"

At that she gin an awful yell, and flung herself down upon a yaller satin
divan, trimed with gold, and slobbered it all over with tears.

I know'd then I had a "_mission to perform_," and that my fleshless bones
were not given me for useless pleasure, but as a "warnin' to my race."

Arter this adventer I left the palace as I had entered it, "leavin' not a
trace behind me."

Since that affair, I have bin goin' about "doin' good," frightnin' the
wicked into fits, and follerin' in the steps of the parsen, and thus
working my way out of Purgatory.

LECTER II.

ARTEMUS WARD.--OUT OF PURGATORY.

Relatives and nabors,--Thinkin' you'll, like to know whether I'd bin
roastin' in brimstone, along with Solomen and Lot's wife, and that you
might feel consarned to know sumthin' about my further adventers, I'll
continoo.

One mornin' soon after this, havin' spent a restless nite, I was thinkin'
what I had best do, when I seed, cumin' rite out of a big marble edifice,
a nice little woman about as raw-boned as myself. As she carried an open
paper in her hand which was certified to by two bishops and three
clergeymen that she'd bin baptised and her sins washed away, I felt it
would be safe for me to foller her, knowin' I had no such dockerment to
admit me into the good graces of Abraham or Peter, or whatever porter
might keep the gates of Paradise.

She seemed kinder skeered and tremblin' like for a minit, not knowin'
what to do; then with a sudden start she spread herself out just like the
eagel of Ameriky, and soared rite up into the sky with nothin' to histe
her by. I felt in my heart to foller her, and spread out just as she did,
keeping near her on the sly.

As she went on she began to shine like a star, shootin' on through the
azure heavens for all the world like a sky-rocket.

That put me on my pluck, and I bust out just like a sky-rocket too. My
blazers! If it didn't make my head spin.

When I collected my idees, I thought I'd look and see if I resembled a
glow-worm behind, and there, by thunder, was a long stream of light, just
like the tail of a comet! I tell you, I felt happy! She's regenerated me,
thought I; and I, too, am one of the "shining hosts"! And then directly,
without any warnin' or noise of any kind, all around bega