o we retired into the study, and while master pretended to
whip me I pretended to howl. I was just beginning to howl in a very
lifelike way when the woman rushed in and called master a cruel brute,
and said she didn't mean him to hurt me really.

Women are funny creatures and I'm glad I don't own one. Snap, the
butcher's dog, even went so far as to suggest that we should adopt
anti-feminism as a plank in our platform, but the Irish Wolfhound who
comes from Cavendish Square said that his mistress was driving an
ambulance in France and that, in her absence, anyone who had anything
to say against women would have to see him first. Of course it's very
difficult to argue with that kind of dog, and, though Snap seemed
inclined to press the point, I ruled the proposal out of order. The
value of resource is one of the things you learn in the Army.

I think Snap was rather relieved really, because after the meeting he
asked me to go and help him dig up a nearly new mutton bone that he
had buried under a laurel bush in the Square.

Well, to return to our platform, what we say about these foreign dogs
is "Keep them all out." Of course there are some Allied dogs, like
Poodles and Plumpuddings and Boston terriers, that have earned the
right to be considered one of ourselves, but when it comes to having
Mexican Hairless and Schipperkes and heaven knows what else coming
into the country and taking the biscuits out of our mouths--well, we
say it isn't good enough. Not that we're insular, mind you, but to
hear some of these mangy foreigners talking about the Brotherhood of
Dogs! But I must tell you how Bolshevism raised its ugly head in
our midst. It was while we were discussing the second plank in our
platform, which is "DOGS, NOT DOORMATS."

But there, Master is calling me to take him for a walk, so it must
wait till next week. ALGOL.

(_To be continued._)

* * * * *

[Illustration: _Official (to applicant for post as policewoman)_. "AND
WHAT WOULD YOU DO IN THE EVENT OF A STREET ACCIDENT?"

_Applicant_. "OH, I SHOULD--ER--CALL A POLICEMAN."]

* * * * *

"German civil officials in Nancy must salute American officers.
Failure to obey the order means arrest."--_Globe_.

We hear that the same regulation applies to all German civil officials
in Lyons, Toulouse and Bordeaux.

* * * * *

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