the case, and they ticked mollifying and
agreeable. Three of these watches were genuine tickers; the rest were
only kickers. Hey? Why, empty cases with one of them horny black bugs
that fly around electric lights in 'em. Them bugs kick off minutes
and seconds industrious and beautiful. So, this man I was speaking
of cleaned up $288; and then he went away, because he knew that when
it came time to wind watches in Little Rock an entomologist would be
needed, and he wasn't one.

"So, as I say, Henry had $360, and I had $288. The idea of
introducing the phonograph to South America was Henry's; but I took
to it freely, being fond of machinery of all kinds.

"'The Latin races,' says Henry, explaining easy in the idioms he
learned at college, 'are peculiarly adapted to be victims of the
phonograph. They have the artistic temperament. They yearn for music
and color and gaiety. They give wampum to the hand-organ man and the
four-legged chicken in the tent when they're months behind with the
grocery and the bread-fruit tree.'

"'Then,' says I, 'we'll export canned music to the Latins; but I'm
mindful of Mr. Julius Caesar's account of 'em where he says: "_Omnia
Gallia in tres partes divisa est_;" which is the same as to say, "We
will need all of our gall in devising means to tree them parties."'

"I hated to make a show of education; but I was disinclined to be
overdone in syntax by a mere Indian, a member of a race to which we
owe nothing except the land on which the United States is situated.

"We bought a fine phonograph in Texarkana--one of the best make--and
half a trunkful of records. We packed up, and took the T. and
P. for New Orleans. From that celebrated centre of molasses and
disfranchised coon songs we took a steamer for South America.

"We landed at Solitas, forty miles up the coast from here. 'Twas a
palatable enough place to look at. The houses were clean and white;
and to look at 'em stuck around among the scenery they reminded
you of hard-boiled eggs served with lettuce. There was a block of
skyscraper mountains in the suburbs; and they kept pretty quiet, like
they had crept up there and were watching the town. And the sea was
remarking 'Sh-sh-sh' on the beach; and now and then a ripe cocoanut
would drop kerblip in the sand; and that was all there was doing.
Yes, I judge that town was considerably on the quiet. I judge that
after Gabriel quits blowing his horn, and the car starts, with
Philadelphia swingin