e much discontented. Upon a fair Tuesday I
presented a petition to the court, making myself a party against the said
gentlewomen, and showing the great interest that I pretended therein,
protesting that by the same reason I would cause the codpiece of my
breeches to be sewed behind, if the court would not take order for it. In
sum, the gentlewomen put in their defences, showing the grounds they went
upon, and constituted their attorney for the prosecuting of the cause. But
I pursued them so vigorously, that by a sentence of the court it was
decreed those high neckcloths should be no longer worn if they were not a
little cleft and open before; but it cost me a good sum of money. I had
another very filthy and beastly process against the dung-farmer called
Master Fifi and his deputies, that they should no more read privily the
pipe, puncheon, nor quart of sentences, but in fair full day, and that in
the Fodder schools, in face of the Arrian (Artitian) sophisters, where I
was ordained to pay the charges, by reason of some clause mistaken in the
relation of the sergeant. Another time I framed a complaint to the court
against the mules of the presidents, counsellors, and others, tending to
this purpose, that, when in the lower court of the palace they left them to
champ on their bridles, some bibs were made for them (by the counsellors'
wives), that with their drivelling they might not spoil the pavement; to
the end that the pages of the palace what play upon it with their dice, or
at the game of coxbody, at their own ease, without spoiling their breeches
at the knees. And for this I had a fair decree, but it cost me dear. Now
reckon up what expense I was at in little banquets which from day to day I
made to the pages of the palace. And to what end? said I. My friend, said
he, thou hast no pastime at all in this world. I have more than the king,
and if thou wilt join thyself with me, we will do the devil together. No,
no, said I; by St. Adauras, that will I not, for thou wilt be hanged one
time or another. And thou, said he, wilt be interred some time or other.
Now which is most honourable, the air or the earth? Ho, grosse pecore!

Whilst the pages are at their banqueting, I keep their mules, and to
someone I cut the stirrup-leather of the mounting side till it hang but by
a thin strap or thread, that when the great puffguts of the counsellor or
some other hath taken his swing to get up, he may fall flat on his side