man awaited me, with her horses and her
autos, her rackets and her golf-clubs, with other rich women about her,
laughing, simpering, chattering, but culling all the blossoms of a life
I had aimed for and was becoming a part of. I had paid for it, Dave, in
toil such as few other men have undergone, at the price of starvation in
garrets, over there in the _Quartier_. No light o' loves for me, no
hours wasted, never a penny spent but for food of a sort and the things
I needed for painting. And it took me years. Then the reward was before
me, for I had won time. Yes, man! I was the master of time! Fools say it
is money! What utter rot! Money is time, that's what it is. It can bring
time for leisure, and to enjoy luxury, to bask in smiles, to lead a life
of ease and refinement, and time also to accomplish the great work of
one's dreams!"

There was another pause.

"I didn't forget her, of course. She was before me night and day, but I
thought I was mastering my longing, beginning to lord it over an insane
passion. I could golf and swim and dance, and listen to fools prattling
of art, and smile at them civilly and agree with their silly nonsense.
They're not much more stupid than most of the highbrows, after all, and,
usually, a devilish sight more pleasant to associate with. None of
Camus's poison in their kitchens! And--and that other woman was a
beauty, and she held all that I aimed for in her hand and was stretching
it out to me. And she's a good woman too and a plucky one! Rather too
good for me, I am sure. It was at night, going forty miles an hour, I
think, that I finally made up my mind to ask her. And--and she
consented. She was driving and never slowed down a minute, for we were
late. I was half scared, and yet hoping that she might wrap that car
around a telegraph pole, before we arrived. When we finally stopped, she
declared it had been a glorious ride, and gave me her lips to kiss,
and--and I went up to my room to dress for dinner, feeling that I had
made an end of all insanity, that I had achieved all that I had fought
so hard for!

"Then, later on, after some months, you came around to ask me to use
Frances as a model again. I thought I was quite cured at that time, and
I refused. Oh, yes! I had been coming to that shack of yours. On those
Sunday afternoons the devil would get into me. A look at her would do no
harm. You and Frieda would be there too. And I would come and sit on
your rickety bed and look at