groom, cultivate respect between you at all
costs and, men and women, never _never_ marry anyone you don't really
respect, however passionately you may love. I believe one can be fairly
happy in marriage without love, once the ardours and madness of extreme
youth have passed. Without respect one can never be anything but
wretched.

* * *

'There is always one who loves and one who is beloved.' If you find you
are the one who loves, remember--_it is the better part_, especially for
a woman. Don't weary your companion with constant claims, with scenes
and reproaches, tears and prayers, it will serve you no purpose, and
probably only alienate the beloved from you. And, while on the subject
of tears, let me urgently warn all wives against giving way to this
natural feminine weakness. The sensible, hard-headed, athletic girls of
to-day as a rule scorn to do so; but after marriage occasions for
weeping occur that these self-reliant young spinsters never dream of.
But the old idea that tears prevailed against a man, and served to
soften the harder male heart, is entirely exploded; and, if women only
realised it, tears distil a poison that acts as a fateful irritant to
love and often causes its death. Just at first, when he is quite young
and in the height of his ardour, tears may influence a man, but not for
long, and very seldom after marriage. They frequently gain their end,
however, as exceptionally tender-hearted men often so dread tears that
they immediately concede the point at issue on the appearance of this
danger-signal. But their irritation is none the less, and they often end
in disliking the woman who has traded on their gentleness, and taken
what they consider is an unfair advantage of them. The wife who weeps
perpetually, whenever things go wrong, does not command anyone's respect
or sympathy, and generally drives her husband to seek the society of
other women. Men detest a sad face in their home--other than their own,
that is. If they are ever miserable, they feel entitled to let
themselves go, but their wives must not, or when they do, it must
certainly not take the form of tears. The brilliant anonymous author of
_The Truth about Man_ advises women to remember that men 'must never be
contradicted, reproached, or censured.' To this I would add emphatically
that he must never on any account be cried at.

* * *

Is it necessary to advocate the cultivation of the most perfect courtesy
between yo