ter it.'
Yet both Launcelot and Lysander are in every other respect ideal
husbands.

My advice to wives therefore is: Firstly, do away with all weekly or
cash payments, which are a weariness to the wifely brain. Check all
books once a week, examine the items with whatever degree of care your
tradesmen's moral standard requires. Enter these sums in an
account-book. At the end of the month, when all the bills are in,
prepare a monthly balance-sheet for your husband. He will assuredly
glance first at the total and should it be satisfactory he will look no
further if he be wise. Let him then write one cheque to cover the whole
amount, pay it into your bank, and you do the rest. When the bills
arrive for rates, and whatever else is sent in quarterly, include them
in your monthly list, and thus your husband will only have to write
twelve cheques a year on behalf of his home instead of scores. The
fearful frenzies that beset him monthly will thus be reduced to a
minimum. If you have stables or an extensive wine-cellar give orders
that the bills for these and any other item which belongs to the man's
department should be sent to his office or club, together with his
tailor's and other personal bills. Thus you will not suffer when their
settlement becomes necessary. It is a strange fact that a man sits down
like a lamb to write cheques at his office, although at home the same
business would cause him to raise the roof and shake the foundations.

* * *

Volumes could be written on how to be happy though married, but my last
page is at hand. To sum up therefore. Wives: if you would be happy,
remember, make much of your husband, flatter him discreetly, laugh at
his jokes, don't attempt to put down his club, never tell him home
truths, and _never_ cry.

Husbands: praise and admire your wife and let other men admire her too;
don't interfere in her department; write your monthly cheque with a
cheerful mien; be reasonable about money even if you cannot be generous,
and be not overfond of your own voice.

And, both of you: be very tolerant, expect little, give gladly, put
respect before everything, cultivate courtesy and love each other all
you can. If you do all this you are sure to be happy, though married.
Hear also what Robert Burton says in his wonderful book, _The Anatomy of
Melancholy_. 'Hast thou means? Thou hast none, if unmarried, to keep and
increase them. Hast none? Thou hast one, if married, to help and get
th