heyl you know, and four bloomin' Paythans know too. But that
was summat to do, an' I didn't think o' dyin'. Now I'm sick to go
'Ome--go 'Ome--go 'Ome! No, I ain't mammysick, because my uncle brung
me up, but I'm sick for London again; sick for the sounds of 'er, an'
the sights of 'er, and the stinks of 'er; orange-peel and hasphalte
an' gas comin' in over Vaux'all Bridge. Sick for the rail goin' down
to Box 'Ill, with your gal on your knee an' a new clay pipe in your
face. That, an' the Stran' lights where you knows ev'ry one, an' the
Copper that takes you up is a old friend that tuk you up before, when
you was a little, smitchy boy lying loose 'tween the Temple an' the
Dark Harches. No bloomin' guard-mountin', no bloomin' rotten-stone,
nor khaki, an' yourself your own master with a gal to take an' see the
Humaners practisin' a-hookin' dead corpses out of the Serpentine o'
Sundays. An' I lef' all that for to serve the Widder beyond the seas,
where there ain't no women and there ain't no liquor worth 'avin', and
there ain't nothin' to see, nor do, nor say, nor feel, nor think. Lord
love you, Stanley Orth'ris, but you're a bigger bloomin' fool than the
rest o' the reg'ment and Mulvaney wired together! There's the Widder
sittin' at 'Ome with a gold crownd on 'er 'ead; and 'ere am Hi,
Stanley Orth'ris, the Widder's property, a rottin' FOOL!'

His voice rose at the end of the sentence, and he wound up with a
six-shot Anglo-Vernacular oath. Mulvaney said nothing, but looked at
me as if he expected that I could bring peace to poor Ortheris's
troubled brain.

I remembered once at Rawal Pindi having seen a man, nearly mad with
drink, sobered by being made a fool of. Some regiments may know what I
mean. I hoped that we might slake off Ortheris in the same way, though
he was perfectly sober. So I said:--

'What's the use of grousing there, and speaking against The Widow?'

'I didn't!' said Ortheris. 'S'elp me, Gawd, I never said a word agin
'er, an' I wouldn't--not if I was to desert this minute!'

Here was my opening. 'Well, you meant to, anyhow. What's the use of
cracking-on for nothing? Would you slip it now if you got the chance?'

'On'y try me!' said Ortheris, jumping to his feet as if he had been
stung.

Mulvaney jumped too. 'Fwhat are you going to do?' said he.

'Help Ortheris down to Bombay or Karachi, whichever he likes. You can
report that he separated from you before tiffin, and left his gun on
the bank here!'