t good enough
to meet, shopping, and buying dresses, and God knows what--"

"Why, Ed!"

"Oh, don't 'why-Ed' me! Well, ain't you going to come and kiss me? Nice
reception when a man's come home tired from a hard trip--wife so busy
reading a book that she don't even get up from her chair and make him
welcome in his own room that he pays for. Yes, by--"

"Why, you didn't--you don't act as though--"

"Yes, sure, that's right; lay it all on--"

"--you wanted me to kiss you."

"Well, neither would anybody if they'd had all the worries I've had,
sitting there worrying on a slow, hot train that stopped at every
pig-pen--yes, and on a day-coach, too, by golly! _Somebody_ in this
family has got to economize!--while you sit here cool and comfortable;
not a thing on your mind but your hair; not a thing to worry about
except thinking how damn superior you are to your husband! Oh, sure! But
I made up my mind--I thought it all out for once, and I made up my mind
to one thing, you can help me out by economizing, anyway."

"Oh, Ed, I don't know what you're driving at. I _haven't_ been
extravagant, ever. Why, I've asked you any number of times not to spend
so much money for suppers and so forth--"

"Yes, sure, lay it all onto me. I'm fair game for everybody that's
looking for a nice, soft, easy, safe boob to kick! Why, look there!"

While she still sat marveling he pounced on the meek little five-cent
bag of lemon-drops, shook it as though it were a very small kitten, and
whined: "Look at this! Candy or something all the while! You never have
a single cent left when I come home--candy and ice-cream sodas, and
matinees, and dresses, and everything you can think of. If it ain't one
thing, it's another. Well, you'll either save from now on--"

"Look here! What do you mean, working off your grouch on--"

"--or else you won't _have_ anything to spend, un'erstand? And when it
comes down to talking about grouches I suppose you'll be real _pleased_
to know--this will be sweet news, probably, to _you_--I've been fired!"

"Fired? Oh, Ed!"

"Yes, fired-oh-Ed. Canned. Got the gate. Thrown out. Got the
razzle-dazzle. Got the hook thrown into me. Bounced. Kiyudeled. That is,
at least, I will be, as soon as I let the old man get at me, judging
from the love-letters he's been sending me, inviting me to cut a switch
and come out to the wood-shed with him."

"Oh, Ed dear, what was the trouble?"

She walked up to him, laid her hand on his