ny previous to its dismissal,
amusing some and mystifying others. The heart was his theme, and time or
place, a court-martial or a review, did not prevent the introduction of
his platitudes.

Said the Major, after inspection, "The Colonel, in the prominence he
gives the heart in its control of military affairs, rather reverses a
sentiment I once heard advanced by a little Scotch tailor, who had just
been elected a militia colonel."

"Let's have it, Major," said the Adjutant.

"The little Scotchman," continued the Major, "had been a notorious
drunkard and profane swearer. Through the efforts of a travelling
Evangelist, he became converted and joined a prominent denomination. His
conversion was a remarkable instance, and gave him rapid promotion and a
prominent position in the church. While at his height, through some
scheme of the devil, I suppose, he was elected colonel of militia. The
elevation overcame him. Treat he must and treat he did, and to satisfy
the admiring crowd in front of the bar drank himself, until reason left,
preceded by piety, and his old vice of profanity returned, with
seven-fold virulence. He was discovered by a brother of the church,
steadying himself by the railing of the bar, and rehearsing, amid
volleys of oaths, the fragments that remained in his memory of an old
Fourth of July speech. 'Brother,' said his fellow church-member, as he
gently nudged his arm. 'Brother!' in a louder key, and with a more
vigorous nudge, 'have you forgotten your sacred obligations to the
church, your position as a--'

"'The church!' echoed the tailor, all the blood of the MacGregor rising
in his boots, with an oath that shocked the brother out of all
hope--'What's the church to military matters?'"

CHAPTER XI.

_Snicker's Gap--Private Harry on the "Anaconda"--Not inclined to turn
Boot-Black--"Oh! why did you go for a Soldier?"--The
ex-News-Boy--Pigeon-hole Generalship on the March--The Valley of the
Shenandoah--A Flesh Carnival--The Dutch Doctor on a Horse-dicker--An Old
Rebel, and how he parted with his Apple-Brandy--Toasting the
"Union"--Spruce Retreats._

The movement down the Valley was one of those at that time popular
"bagging" movements, peculiar to the Grand Army of the Potomac, and in
their style of execution, or to speak correctly, intended execution--for
the absence of that quality has rendered them ridiculous--original with
its Commander. Semi-official reports, industriously circulated fr