us."

"That's fine. T'Cai-Cai," Retief said. "I'm sure Mr. Spradley will be
interested in hearing what we have to say."

"Never mind," the Yill said. "I am here only socially." He looked around
the room.

"So plainly you decorate your chamber. But it has a certain austere
charm." He laughed a Yill laugh.

"Oh, you are a strange breed, you Terrestrials. You surprised us all.
You know, one hears such outlandish stories. I tell you in confidence,
we had expected you to be overpushes."

"Pushovers," Spradley said, tonelessly.

"Such restraint! What pleasure you gave to those of us, like myself of
course, who appreciated your grasp of protocol. Such finesse! How subtly
you appeared to ignore each overture, while neatly avoiding actual
contamination. I can tell you, there were those who thought--poor
fools--that you had no grasp of etiquette. How gratified we were, we
professionals, who could appreciate your virtuosity--when you placed
matters on a comfortable basis by spurning the cats'-meat. It was sheer
pleasure then, waiting, to see what form your compliment would take."

The Yill offered orange cigars, stuffed one in his nostril.

"I confess even I had not hoped that you would honor our Admirable so
signally. Oh, it is a pleasure to deal with fellow professionals, who
understand the meaning of protocol!"

Ambassador Spradley made a choking sound.

"This fellow has caught a chill," T'Cai-Cai said. He eyed Spradley
dubiously. "Step back, my man. I am highly susceptible.

"There is one bit of business I shall take pleasure in attending to, my
dear Retief," T'Cai-Cai went on. He drew a large paper from his
reticule. "The Admirable is determined than none other than yourself
shall be accredited here. I have here my government's exequatur
confirming you as Terrestrial consul-general to Yill. We shall look
forward to your prompt return."

Retief looked at Spradley.

"I'm sure the Corps will agree," he said.

"Then I shall be going," T'Cai-Cai said. He stood up. "Hurry back to us,
Retief. There is much that I would show you of Yill."

"I'll hurry," Retief said and, with a Yill wink: "Together we shall see
many high and splendid things!"

END

+--------------------------------------------------------------+
| Coming in the March issue of If-- |
| |
| THE MADMAN FROM EARTH