st I
commanded them to harm Thee and to harm them that Thou didst trust! And
how numerous the nights during which Thou didst graciously remember me,
and didst show me Thy path, whilst I turned away from Thee and from Thy
signs! By Thy glory! O Thou Who art the Hope of such as have acknowledged
Thy unity, and the Desire of the hearts of them that are rid of all
attachment to any save Thee! I find no succorer except Thee, nor king, nor
refuge, nor haven besides Thyself. Alas, alas! My turning away from Thee
hath burnt up the veil of mine integrity, and my denial of Thee hath rent
asunder the covering cast over mine honor. O would that I were beneath the
depths of the earth, so that my evil deeds would remain unknown to Thy
servants! Thou seest the sinner, O my Lord, who hath turned towards the
dawning-place of Thy forgiveness and Thy bounty, and the mountain of
iniquity that hath sought the heaven of Thy mercy and pardon. Alas, alas!
My mighty sins have prevented me from approaching the court of Thy mercy,
and my monstrous deeds have caused me to stray far from the sanctuary of
Thy presence. Indeed, I am he that hath failed in duty towards Thee, and
hath broken Thy Covenant and Thy Testament, and committed that which hath
made the dwellers of the cities of Thy justice, and the dawning-places of
Thy grace in Thy realms, to lament. I testify, O my God, that I have put
away Thy commandments, and clung to the dictates of my passions, and have
cast away the statutes of Thy Book, and seized the book of mine own
desire. O misery, misery! As mine iniquities waxed greater and greater,
Thy forbearance towards me augmented, and as the fire of my rebelliousness
grew fiercer, the more did Thy forgiveness and Thy grace seek to smother
up its flame. By the power of Thy might! O Thou Who art the desire of the
world and the Best-Beloved of the nations! Thy long-suffering hath puffed
me up, and Thy patience hath emboldened me. Thou beholdest, O my God, the
tears that my shame hath caused to flow, and the sighs which my
heedlessness hath led me to utter. I swear by the greatness of Thy
majesty! I can find for myself no habitation save beneath the shadow of
the court of Thy bounty, nor any refuge except under the canopy of Thy
mercy. Thou seest me in the midst of a sea of despair and of hopelessness,
after Thou didst cause me to hear Thy words "Despair not." By Thy power!
My sore injustice hath severed the cord of my hope, and my rebellion hath