ned, for nothing. I, however, continued to insist that the letters
of indulgence should be given to me for nothing by him who had the power
to give them; if not, I should commend and refer the matter to God. And
so I was dismissed by them.

"The holy thieves, notwithstanding, became sad in consequence of these
dealings; I, however, was partly downcast that I had received no letter
of indulgence, partly I rejoiced, too, that there was, in spite of all,
still One in heaven who was willing to forgive the penitent sinner his
sins without money and loan, according to the words that I had often
sung in church: 'As true as I live, says the Lord, I desire not the
death of the sinner, but that he be converted and live.' Oh, dear Lord
and God, Thou knowest that I am not lying in this matter, or inventing
anything about myself.

"While doing this, I was so moved that I, on returning to my inn, almost
gushed forth and melted to tears. Thus I came to my inn, went to my
room, and took the cross which always lay upon the little table in my
study-room, placed it upon the bench, and fell down upon the floor
before it. I cannot describe it here, but at that time I was able to
feel the spirit of prayer and divine grace which Thou, my Lord and God,
pouredst out over me. The essential import of the same, however, was
this: I asked that Thou, dear God, mightst be willing to be my Father,
that Thou mightst be willing to forgive me for my sins, that I submitted
myself wholly to Thee, that Thou mightst make of me now whatsoever
pleased Thee, and because the priests did not wish to be gracious to me
without money, that Thou mightst be willing to be my gracious God and
Father.

"Then I felt that my whole heart was changed. I was disgusted with
everything in this world, and it seemed to me that I had quite enough of
this life. One thing only did I desire, that is, to live for God, that I
might be pleasing to Him. But who was there at that time who would have
taught me how I had to go about it? For the word, life, and light of
mankind was buried throughout the whole world in the deepest darkness of
human ordinances and of the quite foolish good works. Of Christ there
was complete silence, nothing was known about Him, or, if mention was
made of Him, He was represented unto us as a dreadful, fearful Judge,
whom scarcely His mother and all the saints in heaven could reconcile
and make merciful with bloody tears; and yet it was done in such a way
th