ehind the
Fog.

_Friday._--News of Mr. G. speeding home over land and sea. All his friends
on Front Bench been begging him to stay longer in the Sunny South. No need
whatever for his return; things going on admirably; not missed in the
least; shocking weather here; better stay where he is.

"Ho, indeed!" said Mr. G., pricking up his ears and a dangerous light
flashing under his eyebrows. "I'm not wanted, ain't I? SQUIRE OF MALWOOD
getting along admirably in my shoes; doing well without me; not missed in
the slightest. Very well, then; _I'll go home._"

MACLURE, who has been in the confidence of great statesmen from DIZZY
downward, tells me Mr. G.'s homeward flight was hastened by curious dream.
Dreamt all his sheep were straying from fold; some going one way, others
another; each bent on his own particular business. In vain Mr. G. leaping
up and taking crook in hand, put hand to mouth and halloed them back to
Home-Rule fold. They went their way, some even making for Unionist
encampment, where Mr. G., moving heavily in his slumber, distinctly saw one
sheep regarding scene through an eyeglass.

"Only a dream of course," Mr. G. said, when he set off in the morning for a
twenty-mile walk. "But I think I may as well be getting back. Made up for
the Session; fit for anything. Nothing could have been kinder or more
watchful than Nurse RENDEL'S care of me; if I had been his son (which I
admit is chronologically difficult), couldn't have been better done to.
Only concerned just now for ARMITSTEAD. That young fellow, proud of his
chickenhood of sixty-seven years, brought me out to take care of me, and
freshen me up. Fancy I've worn _him_ out; instead of his taking care of me,
have to look after him! Shall be glad to get again within sound of Big Ben.
Spoiling for a fight. HARCOURT done very well; but he'll have to tuck in
his tuppenny and let me over into the Leader's place."

_Business done._--Miscellaneous.

* * * * *

[Illustration: "PASSING IT ON."

_Rupert_ (_just back from School, where he has been tremendously fagged_).
"LOOK HERE, ANGY, IF YOU BEHAVE DECENTLY, AND DON'T SMASH ANYTHING, YOU
SHALL FINISH THE JAM--_WHEN I'VE QUITE DONE_!"]

* * * * *

PHILOSOPHIC STUPIDITY.

["It is better to do a stupid thing that has been done before, than to
do a wise thing that has never been tried."--_Mr. Balfour in the House
of Commons._]

HEAR t