knows by what open methods floundering men are captured.

* * *

He who by reasoning thinks to find out woman, must either be a
philosopher or a fool--probably both.

Less of a philosopher and more of a fool is he who thinks to extract from
woman her reasons for her actions. The woman who can give reasons for an
action is yet to be born. The reason is plain:

Women act upon intuition, not upon reason. And

He who could make a logical sorites out of feminine intuitions could make
a philosophical system out of nautical almanacs. And yet, probably,

Could we only determine her orbit, a woman's intuitions are as exact as
the paths of the planets. Unfortunately,

Such are the perturbations to which a woman's orbit is exposed that no
masculine astronomy can construct its ephemeris. Alack,
How many anxious star-gazers are there among men! The orbit of the
ordinary male man it is not as difficult for a woman to compute, inasmuch
as

The ordinary male man revolves unusually about two foci: his Appetites;
and his Ambitions.--Which is the major and which the minor . . . .
However,

You may trust women to know when he is in peri-and when in aphelion.

Many a spouse has no difficulty in explaining away to her lord actions
about the character of which even his initiate friends have no shadow of
doubt. For

A woman's perception is preternatural. But no; it is natural enough,
since

From the days of the first woman to the days of the New one, love, its
wiles and its whims, has been the serious business of woman.

* * *

Women know much better than men that stolen bread is sweetest. In
consequence,

Men steal almost everything they get from women.--At least they think
they do. Which is the same thing.

* * *

If the sexes were to change places, more marriage licenses would be taken
out.

* * *

'Frailty,' says man, 'thy name is woman,'--and then he takes advantage
of it.

* * *

At arm's length it is difficult to offer a helping hand. Yet it is
hazardous to reduce that distance.

* * *

Neglect is the unpardonable sin in a woman's eyes. Woe to the man who is
guilty of it.

* * *

If a woman possessed only a man's tact, what fallings-out there would be!

* * *

Man's summum bonum is to combine a comfortable home with congenial club.

Woman's summum bonum is the almost equally incompatible combination of a
well-regulated family and the height of fashionable gaiety.

Man's infinum mal