that my brother's actions were
open to severe criticism; at the same time, I was certain that mild
measures would not have prevailed.

The Grand Secretary, while I was in the post-office, invited me quite
informally to participate in the opening exercises, and to assist at
the banquet, the benediction, so to speak, of the secret rites. She
said that other prominent gentlemen would receive invitations, and
that she was certain the "work" would please and edify. She expressed
much chagrin when I tendered my regret, and amazed me by affirming
that Ajax had cordially consented to be present. This I considered an
outrageous breach of good manners upon his part: if he kept his
promise, a number of most worthy and respectable persons would
consider themselves insulted; so I advised Miss Birdie not to count
upon him.

"I like your big brother," she said, in her hard, metallic tones; "he
is such a man: he has made quite a conquest of me; for mercy's sake
don't tell him so."

I pledged myself to profound secrecy, but walking home the remembrance
of an uncanny gleam in her bold black eye put to flight my misgivings.
I decided that Ajax was justified in using "pizon."

Upon Tuesday afternoon I deemed it expedient to remain at the ranch-
house. About five, Jasperson, arrayed in his best, accompanied Ajax to
the village. The lodge was to open its doors at 7.30; and at ten my
brother returned alone, breathless and red in the face, the bearer of
extraordinary tidings. I shall let him tell the story in his own
words.

"The whole village," said he, "has been painted by Jasperson a lovely
pigeon-blood red!" Then he sat down and laughed in the most
uncontrollable and exasperating manner.

"By Jupiter!" he gasped; "I knew that whisky was wonderful stuff, but
I never believed it could turn a worm into a Malay running amok." Then
he laughed again till the tears rolled down his cheeks.

Between the gusts and gurgles of laughter a few more details leaked
out. I present them connectedly. The kind reader will understand that
allowance must be made for my brother. He is a seasoned vessel, but no
man can drink our village nectar with impunity.

"Of course," he began, "I knew that, this being his last day, the boys
would ask Jasperson to celebrate. So, mindful, of your precious
reputation--I don't care a hang about my own--I kept in the
background. Upon inquiry you'll find that it is generally conceded
that I did my best to prevent what h