As I cannot lay my sword at the feet of my army, I die at the head of
your Majesty. .............................. LOUIS NAPOLEON.

* * * * *

A FREE TRADER.

Now gentlemen, of every kind,
Just step into my shop,
And, as I'm hard to pacify,
You'd better bring a sop;
I'll dress you up in any style
For which you choose to call,
But then, you must bring ready cash,
Because I shines for all.

I'm always ready for a trade,
No matter what its kind;
I'll dress you up so very neat,
If your bid suits my mind.
If, when I ask the custom house,
He says, "Give it I sha'n't,"
DAVIS and FISH I strike, because
I does not shine for GRANT.

Sometimes I send a little bill
For goods they have not had,
And if they do not pay at once
Then I gets awful mad.
Of public pap I'm very fond,
I'd like to get it all,
But, if they block my little game,
I does not shine for HALL.

I've lampooned every decent man,
Who with me would not trade;
I keep a little book account
Of those who have not paid:
So, if you don't enjoy free trade,
Don't listen to my call;
I'll give you good names for good pay,
Because I shines for all.

* * * * *

[Illustration: When you go to the theater, it is pleasant to have the
little boy of a rustic couple persist in feeding you with gingerbread
and orange-peel, and, if you request the little wretch to keep still, to
be told by his parents that you are "putting on airs."]

* * * * *

THE MEDICAL CONFIDENCE GAME.

Mr. Punchinello has lately received a medical publication, in which
there are some editorial remarks concerning the relations between
physicians and their patients. The latter are exhorted to place all
confidence in their medical advisers, for, otherwise, there can be no
harmonious action between them. This is all very well, and Mr.
PUNCHINELLO thinks that if anything in this world should be the subject
of sacred confidences, it should be the revelations of the sick-room.
But, after reading the reports of the various cases which are detailed
in this publication, his faith in the advisability of confiding in one's
doctor was somewhat shaken. For instance, when he read that "Miss ANNA
P-----, aged 25, of blonde complexion and apparent good healt