of
Chicago, with and by the consent of Queen Totimalu, do, in the name
of George Washington, Abe Lincoln, Grover Cleveland, and the State
of Illinois, and by the Grace of Heaven, et cetera, et cetera, et
cetera, hereby annex the Kingdom of Pango Wango to be of the
territory of the American Union, to have and to hold from this day
forth (vide Constitution of the United States), et cetera.

Signed, JUDE VAN BLARICOM, TOTIMALU X (her mark).

"Beat the drums, you niggers!" he cried, and patted Totimalu's shoulder.
"Come and join the royal party, gentlemen, and pay your respects. Shake!
That's right."

Thus was Pango Wango annexed.

AN AMIABLE REVENGE

Whenever any one says to me that civilisation is a failure, I refer
him to certain records of Tonga, and tell him the story of an amiable
revenge. He is invariably convinced that savages can learn easily the
forms of convention and the arts of government--and other things. The
Tongans once had a rough and coarsely effective means for preserving
order and morality, but the whole scheme was too absurdly simple. Now,
with a Constitution and a Sacred Majesty, and two Houses of Parliament,
and a native Magistracy, they show that they are capable of becoming
European in its most pregnant meaning. As the machinery has increased
the grist for the mill has grown. There was a time when a breach of
the Seventh Commandment was punished in Tonga with death, and it
was therefore rarely committed. It is no rarity now--so does law and
civilisation provide opportunities for proving their existence.

On landing at Nukalofa, the capital of Tonga, some years ago, I
naturally directed my steps towards the residence of the British consul.
The route lay along an arc of emerald and opal shore, the swaying
cocoa-palms overhead, and native huts and missionary conventicles hidden
away in coverts of ti-trees, hibiscus bushes, and limes; the sensuous,
perfume-ladened air pervading all. I had seen the British flag from the
coral-bulwarked harbour, but could not find it now. Leaving the indolent
village behind, I passed the Palace, where I beheld the sacred majesty
of Tonga on the veranda sleepily flapping the flies from his aged
calves, and I could not find that flag. Had I passed it? Was it yet to
come? I leaned against a bread-fruit tree and thought upon it. The shore
was deserted. Nobody had taken any notice of me; even the German steamer
Lubeck had not brought a handf