m not
repining, for it does not signify after all, in the end, if I am weary
and lonely sometimes. I wish I was sure it was not wrong. I know I don't
wish to alter things.'

'No, I am sure you don't.'

'Ah!' said Amabel, smiling, 'it is only the old, silly little Amy that
does feel such a heart-aching and longing for one glance of his eye, or
touch of his hand, or sound of his foot in the passage. Oh, Mary, the
worst of all is to wake up, after dreaming I have heard his voice. There
is nothing for it but to take our baby and hold her very tight.'

'Dearest Amy! But you are not blaming yourself for these feelings. It
might be wrong to indulge them and foster them; but while you struggle
with them, they can't in themselves be wrong.'

'I hope not,' said Amabel pausing to think. 'Yes, I have "the joy" at
the bottom still; I know it is all quite right, and it came straight
from heaven, as he said. I can get happy very often when I am by myself,
or at church, with him; it is only when I miss his bright outside
and can't think myself into the inner part, that it is so forlorn and
dreary. I can do pretty well alone. Only I wish I could help being so
troublesome and disagreeable to everybody' said Amy, concluding in a
matter-of-fact tone.

'My dear!' said Mary, almost laughing.

'It is so stupid of me to be always poorly, and making mamma anxious
when there's nothing the matter with me. And I know I am a check on
them down-stairs--papa, and Charlotte, and all--they are very kind,
considerate, and yet'--she paused--'and it is a naughty feeling; but
when I feel all those dear kind eyes watching me always, and wanting me
to be happy, it is rather oppressive, especially when I can't; but if I
try not to disappoint them, I do make such a bad hand of it, and am sure
to break down afterwards, and that grieves mamma all the more.'

'It will be better when this time of year is over,' said Mary.

'Perhaps, yes. He always seemed to belong to summer days, and to come
with them. Well, I suppose trials always come in a different shape from
what one expects; for I used to think I could bear all the doom with
him, but, I did not know it would be without him, and yet that is the
best. Oh, baby!'

'I should not have come to disturb her.'

'No--never mind; she never settles fairly to sleep till we are shut in
by ourselves. Hush! hush, darling--No? Will nothing do but being taken
up? Well, then, there! Come, and show your godmamma what