d pretended.

I remained longer than was necessary, because I had something to say to
William which I knew he would misunderstand, and so I put off saying it.
But when he announced that it was time for him to return to London,--at
which his wife suddenly paled, so that he had to sign to her not to
break down,--I delivered the message.

"William," I said, "the head waiter asked me to say that you could take
a fortnight's holiday just now. Your wages will be paid as usual."

Confound them! William had me by the hand, and his wife was in tears
before I could reach the door.

"Is it your doing again, sir?" William cried.

"William!" I said, fiercely.

"We owe everything to you," he insisted. "The port wine--"

"Because I had no room for it in my cellar."

"The money for the nurse in London--"

"Because I objected to being waited on by a man who got no sleep."

"These lodgings--"

"Because I wanted to do something for my old nurse."

"And now, sir, a fortnight's holiday!"

"Good-bye, William!" I said, in a fury.

But before I could get away Mrs. Hicking signed to William to leave
the room, and then she kissed my hand. She said something to me. It was
about my wife. Somehow I--What business had William to tell her about my
wife?

They are all back in Drury Lane now, and William tells me that his wife
sings at her work just as she did eight years ago. I have no interest in
this, and try to check his talk of it; but such people have no sense of
propriety, and he even speaks of the girl Jenny, who sent me lately
a gaudy pair of worsted gloves worked by her own hand. The meanest
advantage they took of my weakness, however, was in calling their baby
after me. I have an uncomfortable suspicion, too, that William has given
the other waiters his version of the affair; but I feel safe so long as
it does not reach the committee.

THE BLACK POODLE, By F. Anstey

I have set myself the task of relating in the course of this story,
without suppressing or altering a single detail, the most painful and
humiliating episode of my life.

I do this, not because it will give me the least pleasure, but simply
because it affords me an opportunity of extenuating myself, which has
hitherto been wholly denied to me.

As a general rule, I am quite aware that to publish a lengthy
explanation of one's conduct in any questionable transaction is not the
best means of recovering a lost reputation; but in my own case there