he had begun looking
for her when out for a walk. Every woman of full, graceful
figure with dark hair was his mother. At the sight of such a
woman such a feeling of tenderness was stirred within him that
his breath failed him, and tears came into his eyes. And he was
on the tiptoe of expectation that she would come up to him, would
lift her veil. All her face would be visible, she would smile,
she would hug him, he would sniff her fragrance, feel the
softness of her arms, and cry with happiness, just as he had one
evening lain on her lap while she tickled him, and he laughed and
bit her white, ring-covered fingers. Later, when he accidentally
learned from his old nurse that his mother was not dead, and his
father and Lidia Ivanovna had explained to him that she was dead
to him because she was wicked (which he could not possibly
believe, because he loved her), he went on seeking her and
expecting her in the same way. That day in the public gardens
there had been a lady in a lilac veil, whom he had watched with a
throbbing heart, believing it to be she as she came towards them
along the path. The lady had not come up to them, but had
disappeared somewhere. That day, more intensely than ever,
Seryozha felt a rush of love for her, and now, waiting for his
father, he forgot everything, and cut all round the edge of the
table with his penknife, staring straight before him with
sparkling eyes and dreaming of her.

"Here is your papa!" said Vassily Lukitch, rousing him.

Seryozha jumped up and went up to his father, and kissing his
hand, looked at him intently, trying to discover signs of his joy
at receiving the Alexander Nevsky.

"Did you have a nice walk?" said Alexey Alexandrovitch, sitting
down in his easy chair, pulling the volume of the Old Testament
to him and opening it. Although Alexey Alexandrovitch had more
than once told Seryozha that every Christian ought to know
Scripture history thoroughly, he often referred to the Bible
himself during the lesson, and Seryozha observed this.

"Yes, it was very nice indeed, papa," said Seryozha, sitting
sideways on his chair and rocking it, which was forbidden. "I
saw Nadinka" (Nadinka was a niece of Lidia Ivanovna's who was
being brought up in her house). "She told me you'd been given a
new star. Are you glad, papa?"

"First of all, don't rock your chair, please," said Alexey
Alexandrovitch. "And secondly, it's not the reward that's
precious, but the work i