thunderbolts of Heaven, the
deeps of Hell, and the splendours of the Resurrection, for tropes and
metaphors, and hurled the result at the head of the guest of the
evening. Never since the morning stars sang together for joy, I
learned, had an amazed creation witnessed such superhuman bravery as
that displayed by the American navy in the Samoa cyclone. Till earth
rotted in the phosphorescent star-and-stripe slime of a decayed universe
that God-like gallantry would not be forgotten. I grieve that I cannot
give the exact words. My attempt at reproducing their spirit is pale and
inadequate. I sat bewildered on a coruscating Niagara
of--blatherumskite. It was magnificent--it was stupendous; and I was
conscious of a wicked desire to hide my face in a napkin and grin. Then,
according to rule, they produced their dead, and across the snowy
tablecloths dragged the corpse of every man slain in the Civil War, and
hurled defiance at "our natural enemy" (England, so please you!) "with
her chain of fortresses across the world." Thereafter they glorified
their nation afresh, from the beginning, in case any detail should have
been overlooked, and that made me uncomfortable for their sakes. How in
the world can a white man, a Sahib of Our blood, stand up and plaster
praise on his own country? He can think as highly as he likes, but his
open-mouthed vehemence of adoration struck me almost as indelicate. My
hosts talked for rather more than three hours, and at the end seemed
ready for three hours more. But when the Lieutenant--such a big, brave,
gentle giant!--rose to his feet, he delivered what seemed to me as the
speech of the evening. I remember nearly the whole of it, and it ran
something in this way: "Gentlemen--it's very good of you to give me this
dinner and to tell me all these pretty things, but what I want you to
understand--the fact is--what we want and what we ought to get at once
is a navy--more ships--lots of 'em--" Then we howled the top of the roof
off, and I, for one, fell in love with Carlin on the spot. Wallah! He
was a man.

The Prince among merchants bade me take no heed to the warlike
sentiments of some of the old Generals. "The sky-rockets are thrown in
for effect," quoth he, "and whenever we get on our hind legs we always
express a desire to chaw up England. It's a sort of family affair."

And indeed, when you come to think of it, there is no other country for
the American public speaker to trample upon.

France