she still did not reply, and he stammered: "At any rate, you
will remember the compact between us; you can command me as you will. I
am yours."
She held out her hand to him and said mournfully and gently: "Thanks,
you are very kind. If I can do anything for you, I say too: 'Count on
me.'"
He took her proffered hand, gazed at it, and was seized with an ardent
desire to kiss it. Slowly he raised it to his lips and then
relinquished it. As her delicate fingers lay upon her knee the young
widow said gravely:
"Yes, I shall be all alone, but I shall force myself to be brave."
He did not know how to tell her that he would be delighted to wed her.
Certainly it was no time to speak to her on such a subject; however, he
thought he might be able to express himself by means of some phrase
which would have a hidden meaning and would infer what he wished to
say. But that rigid corpse lay between them. The atmosphere became
oppressive, almost suffocating. Duroy asked: "Can we not open the
window a little? The air seems to be impure."
"Certainly," she replied; "I have noticed it too."
He opened the window, letting in the cool night air. He turned: "Come
and look out, it is delightful."
She glided softly to his side. He whispered: "Listen to me. Do not be
angry that I broach the subject at such a time, but the day after
to-morrow I shall leave here and when you return to Paris it might be
too late. You know that I am only a poor devil, who has his position to
make, but I have the will and some intelligence, and I am advancing. A
man who has attained his ambition knows what to count on; a man who has
his way to make does not know what may come--it may be better or worse.
I told you one day that my most cherished dream was to have a wife like
you."
"I repeat it to you to-day. Do not reply, but let me continue. This is
no proposal--the time and place would render it odious. I only wish to
tell you that by a word you can make me happy, and that you can make of
me as you will, either a friend or a husband--for my heart and my body
are yours. I do not want you to answer me now. I do not wish to speak
any more on the subject here. When we meet in Paris, you can tell me
your decision."
He uttered these words without glancing at her, and she seemed not to
have heard them, for she stood by his side motionless, staring vaguely
and fixedly at the landscape before her, bathed in moonlight.
At length she murmured: "It is rather
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