ask "Who made the world?" when they do not
know who made nine-tenths of the well-known things it contains.

Whatever its origin, the designation is a happy one. It fits like a
glove, Repeat it to the first man you meet, and though he never heard it
before, he will knew that you mean a minister. For this very reason it
makes the men of God angry. They feel insulted, and let you see it. They
accuse you of calling them names, and if you smile too sarcastically
they will indulge in some well-selected Bible language themselves.

There are some trades that will not bear honest designations, and the
minister's is one of them. Call him what you please, except what he is,
and he is not disquieted. But call him "sky-pilot" and he starts up like
Macbeth at the ghost of Banquo, exclaiming "Come in any other form but
that!"

Go down to the seaside and look at one of those bluff, weather-beaten,
honest fellows, who know all the rocks and shoals, and tides and
channels, for miles around. Call one of them a "pilot," and he will not
be offended. The term is legitimate. It exactly denotes his business.
He is rather proud of it. His calling is honorable and useful. He pilots
ships through uncertain and dangerous waters to their destination.
He does his work, takes his pay, and feels satisfied; and if you cry
"pilot!" he answers merrily with a "what cheer?"

But "sky" in front of "pilot" makes all the difference. It makes the man
of God feel like having a cold shower bath; then the reaction sets in
and he grows hot--sometimes as hot as H---- well, Hades.

We are not going to swear if the parson does,
But after all, he _is_ a "pilot" and a "sky" pilot.
He undertakes to pilot people to Heaven.

Let him board your ship and take the helm, and he will guide you over
the Black Sea of Death to Port Felicity that, at least, is what he says
in his trade circular, though it turns out very differently in practice,
as we shall see presently.

Let us first notice a great difference between the sea pilot and the
sky pilot. The honest salt boards the ship, and takes her out to sea, or
brings her into port. When the work is over he presents his bill, or
it is done for him. He does not ask for payment in advance. He neither
takes nor gives credit. But the sky pilot does take credit and he
gives none. He is always paid beforehand. Every year he expects a
good retaining fee in the shape of a stipend or a benefice, or a good
percentage