the solid pudding, he says, and I will give you the
empty praise. And now he is safe back in Europe he fulfils his part
of the contract, and goes about trumpeting the praise of Omnipotence;
taking care, however, to get as much cash as possible for every note he
blows on the instrument.

Even this does not end the farce. Stanley's piety runs away with his
arithmetic. He reminds us of a Christian lady we heard of the other day.
She prayed one night, on going to bed, for news from her daughter, and
early the next morning a letter came bearing the Edinburgh post-mark.
This was clearly an answer to her prayer. But a sceptical friend showed
her that the letter must have been posted at Edinburgh before she prayed
for it. Now Stanley reasons like that lady. Nine hours is no time in
central Africa. The "long-lost rear column" must have been near, though
invisible, when Stanley struck his little bargain with the Almighty. Had
it been two or three hundred miles off, and miraculously transported,
the hand of Providence would have been unmistakable; but in the
circumstances its arrival was natural, and the miracle is obviously the
creation of Stanley's heated brain. He was "weakened by illness" and
"prostrated by fatigue," and the absurdity was pardonable. We only
protest against his playing the child when he is well and strong.

GONE TO GOD.

Stanley, the African traveller, is a man of piety. He seems to be on
pretty familiar terms with the "one above." During his last expedition
to relieve Emin--a sceptical gentleman, who gets along with less
bloodshed than Stanley--he was troubled with "traitors"; that is, black
fellows who thought they had a better right in Africa than the intrusive
whites, and acted upon that opinion. This put Stanley in a towering
rage. He resolved to teach the "traitors" a lesson. One of them was
solemnly tried--by his executioners, and sentenced to be hung. A rope
was noosed round his neck, and he was taken under a tree, which was to
be his gallows. The poor devil screamed for mercy, but Stanley bent his
inexorable brows, and cried, "Send him to God!"

"We were troubled with no more traitors," says Stanley. Very likely. But
the great man forgot to say what he meant by the exclamation, "Send
him to God!" Did he mean "Send him to God for judgment?" If so, it was
rather rough to hang the prisoner before his proper trial. Did he mean,
"The fellow isn't fit for earth, so send him to heaven?" If so, it wa