Project Gutenberg's The Last Place on Earth, by James Judson Harmon

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Title: The Last Place on Earth

Author: James Judson Harmon

Release Date: November 9, 2007 [EBook #23426]

Language: English

Character set encoding: ASCII

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Naturally an undertaker will get the last word.
But shouldn't he wait until his clients are dead?

THE LAST PLACE ON EARTH

By JIM HARMON

Illustrated by Gaughan

I

Sam Collins flashed the undertaker a healthy smile, hoping it wouldn't
depress old Candle too much. He saluted. The skeletal figure in endless
black nodded gravely, and took hold of Sam Collins' arm with a death
grip.

"I'm going to bury you, Sam Collins," the undertaker said.

The tall false fronts of Main Street spilled out a lake of shadow, a
canal of liquid heat that soaked through the iron weave of Collins'
jeans and turned into black ink stains. The old window of the hardware
store showed its age in soft wrinkles, ripples that had caught on fire
in the sunset. Collins felt the twilight stealing under the arms of his
tee-shirt. The overdue hair on the back of his rangy neck stood up in
attention. It was a joke, but the first one Collins had ever known Doc
Candle to make.

"In time, I guess you'll bury me all right, Doc."

"In my time, not yours, Earthling."

"Earthling?" Collins repeated the last word.

The old man frowned. His face was a collection of lines. When he
frowned, all the lines pointed to hell, the grave, decay and damnation.

"Earthling," the undertaker repeated. "Earthman? Terrestrial? Solarian?
Space Ranger? _Homo sapiens?_"

Collins decided Candle was sure in a jokey mood. "Kind of makes you
think of it, don't it, Doc? The spaceport going right up outside of
town. Rocketships are going to be out there taking off for the
Satellite, the Moon, places like that. Reminds you that we _are_
Earthlings, like they say in the funnies, all right."

"Not outside town."

"What?"

"Inside. Inside town. Part of the spaceship administration