l Chastisement he has undergone.
If your Curiosity is not yet satisfied,--I will now proceed to relate
the Battle of the Breeches, in the same exact Manner I have done that of
the Watch-Coat.
Be it known then, that, about ten Years ago, when John was appointed
Parish-Clerk of this Church, this said Master Trim took no small Pains
to get into John's good Graces in order, as it afterwards appeared, to
coax a Promise out of him of a Pair of Breeches, which John had then by
him, of black Plush, not much the worse for wearing;--Trim only begging
for God's Sake to have them bestowed upon him when John should think fit
to cast them.
Trim was one of those kind of Men who loved a Bit of Finery in his
Heart, and would rather have a tatter'd Rag of a Better Body's, than the
best plain whole Thing his Wife could spin him.
John, who was naturally unsuspicious, made no more Difficulty of
promising the Breeches, than the Parson had done in promising the Great
Coat; and, indeed, with something less Reserve,--because the Breeches
were John's own, and he could give them, without Wrong, to whom he
thought fit.
It happened, I was going to say unluckily, but, I should rather say,
most luckily, for Trim, for he was the only Gainer by it;--that a
Quarrel, about some six or eight Weeks after this, broke out between the
late Parson of the Parish and John the Clerk. Somebody (and it was
thought to be Nobody but Trim) had put it into the Parson's Head, "That
John's Desk in the Church was, at the least, four Inches higher than it
should be:--That the Thing gave Offence, and was indecorous, inasmuch as
it approach'd too near upon a Level with the Parson's Desk itself." This
Hardship the Parson complained of loudly,--and told John one Day after
Prayers, "He could bear it no longer:--And would have it alter'd and
brought down as it should be." John made no other Reply, but, "That the
Desk was not of his raising:--That 'twas not one Hair Breadth higher
than he found it;--and that as he found it, so would he leave it:--In
short, he would neither make an Encroachment, nor would he suffer one."
The late Parson might have his Virtues, but the leading Part of his
Character was not Humility; so that John's Stiffness in this Point was
not likely to reconcile Matters.--This was Trim's Harvest.
After a friendly Hint to John to stand his Ground,--away hies Trim to
make his Market at the Vicarage: What pass'd there, I will not say,
intending not t
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