l."

Home went the old woman, all in the dark;
Up got the little dog, and he began to bark,
He began to bark, and she began to cry--
"Lawkamercyme! this is none of I!"

[Illustration: A funny-looking old gentleman engaged her and took her
home]

MASTER OF ALL MASTERS

A Girl once went to the fair to hire herself for servant. At last a
funny-looking old gentleman engaged her and took her home to his house.
When she got there, he told her that he had something to teach her, for
that in his house he had his own names for things.

He said to her, "What will you call me?"

"Master or mister, or whatever you please, sir," says she.

He said, "You must call me 'master of all masters.' And what would you
call this?" pointing to his bed.

"Bed or couch, or whatever you please, sir."

"No, that's my 'barnacle'. And what do you call these?" said he,
pointing to his pantaloons.

"Breeches or trousers, or whatever you please, sir."

"You must call them 'squibs and crackers.' And what would you call her?"
pointing to the cat.

"Cat or kit, or whatever you please, sir.'

"You must call her 'white-faced simminy' And this now," showing the
fire, "what would you call this?"

"Fire or flame, or whatever you please, sir."

"You must call it 'hot cockalorum'; and what this?" he went on, pointing
to the water.

"Water or wet, or whatever you please, sir."

"No, 'pondalorum' is its name. And what do you call all this?" asked he,
as he pointed to the house.

"House or cottage, or whatever you please, sir."

"You must call it 'high topper mountain.'"

That very night the servant woke her master up in a fright and said,
"Master of all masters, get out of your barnacle and put on your squibs
and crackers. For white-faced simminy has got a spark of hot cockalorum
on its tail, and unless you get some pondalorum high topper mountain
will be all on hot cockalorum...."

That's all!!

[Illustration: White-faced simminy has got a spark of hot cockalorum on
its tail]

MOLLY WHUPPIE AND THE DOUBLE-FACED GIANT

Once upon a time there was a man and his wife who were not over rich.
And they had so many children that they couldn't find meat for them; so,
as the three youngest were girls, they just took them out to the forest
one day, and left them there to fend for themselves as best they might.

Now the two eldest were just ordinary girls, so they cried a bit and
felt afraid; but the youngest