recommend a little ice in it.

Mr. DAWES said he could do his own drinking. As for PETERS, he scorned
him. Moreover, PETERS was one-eyed.

Mr. PETERS appealed to his record to show that he had two eyes. He did
not understand the anger of Mr. DAWES. Of course when he suggested a
drink, he assumed the responsibility of paying for it.

Mr. DAWES said that altered the case entirely. He took pleasure in
withdrawing his hasty remarks, and in assuring the House that he
profoundly venerated PETERS, and that PETERS had two perfect eyes of
unusual expressiveness.

Mr. BINGHAM called attention to the case of Mr. PORTER, who had been
smitten on the nose by a vile creature whom he declined to drink with.
This was a blow at the national life, and he thought the punishment of
treason was imperatively demanded.

Mr. BUTLER said he had been kicked once. He assured the House that the
sensation was repugnant to his feelings as a man--much more as a
Congressman. He moved to amend by substituting slow torture.

It was finally resolved to put the wretch in irons and feed him on bread
and water.

* * * * *

A Drowsy Con.

When a man is sleepy, what sort of transformation does he desire?

He wishes he were a-bed.

* * * * *

An Anecdote of the good old Square Kind.

MRS. PRINGLEWOOD, having been afflicted with a chimney that smoked, sent
for a chimney-doctor to cure it.

When the cure had been thoroughly effected, says Mrs. PRINGLEWOOD to the
chimney-doctor: "My son, a boy of but fourteen, smokes awful; couldn't
you cure him as you did the chimney?"

"No I couldn't, marm," returned the chimney-doctor, who was a wag: "but
I see what you're arter, marm--you want me to teach him to draw!"

* * * * *

O Deer, Deer!

_Trichinoe_ are said to have been discovered in the flesh of Oregon
deer. If this should prove true, Oregon venison must be anything but a
benison; but it is more than likely that the report originated in the
fact that there is in the East Indies a species of the cervine family
known as the Hog deer.

* * * * *

Scientific Intelligence.

We learn from exchanges that in Missouri, where the wages of
working-people average five dollars _per diem_, that the Legislature
have decreed a Mining Bureau, and a Geological Survey of the State--the
remuneration of the assistant geo