nds, or indeed not unfrequently by the
very fear of the event, by repugnance and a sort of fatal fascination:
yet the tie is for life, not to be shaken off but with disgrace or
death: a man no longer lives to himself, but is a body (as well as
mind) chained to another, in spite of himself--

"Like life and death in disproportion met."

So Milton (perhaps from his own experience) makes Adam exclaim, in the
vehemence of his despair,

"For either
He never shall find out fit mate, but such
As some misfortune brings him or mistake;
Or whom he wishes most shall seldom gain
Through her perverseness, but shall see her gain'd
By a far worse; or if she love, withheld
By parents; or his happiest choice too late
Shall meet, already link'd and wedlock-bound
To a fell adversary, his hate and shame;
Which infinite calamity shall cause
To human life, and household peace confound."

If love at first sight were mutual, or to be conciliated by kind
offices; if the fondest affection were not so often repaid and chilled
by indifference and scorn; if so many lovers both before and since the
madman in Don Quixote had not "worshipped a statue, hunted the wind,
cried aloud to the desert;" if friendship were lasting; if merit were
renown, and renown were health, riches, and long life; or if the
homage of the world were paid to conscious worth and the true
aspirations after excellence, instead of its gaudy signs and outward
trappings:--then indeed I might be of opinion that it is better to
live to others than one's-self: but as the case stands, I incline to
the negative side of the question.[30]

[Footnote 30: Shenstone and Gray were two men, one of whom pretended
to live to himself, and the other really did so. Gray shrunk from the
public gaze (he did not even like his portrait to be prefixed to his
works) into his own thoughts and indolent musings; Shenstone affected
privacy, that he might be sought out by the world; the one courted
retirement in order to enjoy leisure and repose, as the other
coquetted with it, merely to be interrupted with the importunity of
visitors and the flatteries of absent friends.]

"I have not loved the world, nor the world me;
I have not flattered its rank breath, nor bow'd
To its idolatries a patient knee--
Nor coin'd my cheek to smiles--nor cried aloud
In worship of an echo; in the crowd
They could not deem