ough I am inclined, now, to be a weeny bit sorry
for her. It must have been an appalling experience, and only a woman can
appreciate what it must have felt like. However, it will do her good to
realise how much it is all worth in the end! It seems like becoming all
of a sudden bankrupt of friends and love, and of all that makes life so
dear and good. I am surprised that Captain Dalton has cared to take her
back, but I suppose it is to save her from worse. If that is so, he
can't be so bad after all!

"I am rather ashamed of the part I played at the ball, for I took a
wicked pleasure in Ray's misery. He looked so white and ill all the
time, and whenever we danced I could see how he was just aching to kiss
me as he used to do. His eyes gave him away all the time! But he never
dared, even when we sat out in sheltered nooks, for I was a cruel devil,
and 'rubbed it in' every time I got the chance. But, darling, consider
how sore I felt--and how angry!

"So I flirted mildly all the evening just to show that two could play
the same game! Of course, in cold blood, I simply hated myself for
behaving so despicably. I did not know I had it in me, but one never
knows oneself till things happen to rouse one thoroughly. In the end I
had a splitting headache and felt on the verge of hysteria. It was all I
could do not to break down while Ray was unhooking my frock at the back.
It was the only ball-gown in my trunk, the other not having arrived--the
sort of thing that leaves one at the mercy of some charitable person.
That was Ray! Though we were quarrelling desperately, he hooked and
unhooked me without a word of protest, and oh, the misery of his dear,
handsome face in the mirror! I could have hugged it to my breast and
cried upon the squiggly little curls that never lie flat. Oh, I do love
him so! But I was too proud to relent so soon, and tried to keep up my
rage, which all the while was cooling fast.

"When Ray left me, after the little business of the hooks and eyes, he
retired to his dressing-room, where I supposed he had caused a bed to be
made up for himself on the floor. The hotel was so packed, there was no
help for it. Well, how was it possible for me to sleep when I thought of
his lying on the draughty floor, and myself in possession of his
comfortable bed? I tossed and turned and wondered about him, seeing all
the while his unhappy face in the mirror. I remembered about your saying
how a man punishes himself by remorse