to take
up curtain, "We Won't Go Home Till Morning," played, piano.
As curtain rises stage is unoccupied and in semi-darkness,
SELWYN opens door at back, L., and quietly creeps across,
the collar of his overcoat is up, and his hat is dripping
with rain. He goes R. on tiptoe and off third entrance, then
returns to fix a paper on door and exit same way. FRED BELLAMY
then enters by door at back, L., and executes similar business,
holding his muddy boots in his hand, exit, L., second entrance.

Enter DIBBS door right second entrance, yawning and
stretching himself, he carries feather brush in his hand.

DIBBS. Ooh! What a shame to have to turn out just when
you begin to appreciate your pillow. (Reading paper on door,
R.) "Call me at tea-time." (Crossing to L. and reading paper
on other door.) "Don't call me until to-morrow." (Looking at
clock on chimney piece.) Hullo! Only _seven_ o'clock! I'm up too
soon! I have cheated myself out of a clear hour in bed. Shall
I go back again? No! The governor's left out his cigars and
I know the best brands he keeps three sorts--these cost about
sixpence each and he smokes 'em himself--these are worth perhaps
twopence and are for the use of his friends--and these he gives
to his father-in-law, warranted real cabbage, five shillings
a hundred! I'm not his father-in-law, and I'm not his friend,
so I'll have a dip in here. (Taking some from first box.) It's
strange my tastes and the governor's should be so similar--we
both like the best of everything! (Lighting cigar.) I'm not in
a bad billet here, nothing to do and no end of leisure to do
it in, especially when the missus is away; she's gone to her
aunt's at Tunbridge Wells, so master and his friend, Mr. Fred
Bellamy, are left to do as they like. (Sits in easy chair, L.)

TILLY (entering, R. 2 E.). Nobody's up yet and so I can go
to the window and kiss my hand to the night policeman before
he goes off his beat. (Going to window.) There he is, leaning
against the lamp post like a "Polly bellvurdear" in blue. It's
'is whiskers as first won my heart! I always had a weakness for
whiskers and I'm sure they are the finest in the force! Oh!
what rapture to hear the clergyman say to those whiskers,
"Wilt thou have this woman to be thy wedded wife," and to
hear those whiskers reply, "I will," and then to walk arm in
arm with them down the church----(DIBBS comes behind her and
takes her by the waist; she screams.) Ah!

DIBBS. C