avor as this!

FRED. Look here, can't you send a servant?

SEL. What? Entrust my secret to a mercenary? Frederick
Bellamy, _did_ you save my life, or did you not?

FRED (sulkily). I did!

SEL. Did I _ask_ you to do so?

FRED. No, considering you were at the bottom of a pond at
the time you couldn't!

SEL. You should have left me there if you only dived in to
drag me on shore to witness your ingratitude.

FRED. Oh, bother! I suppose I must; where's the infernal
stovepipe?

SEL. (joyfully). I _knew_ you would assist me and in return
I'll tell you something (whispering)--look out for a surprise!
(Aside.) Poor fellow, I know he adores my daughter and thinks
to let concealment like a thingamy in the bud feed on his
damask cheek! (Effusively.) Bless you, my boy!

FRED (aside). I wish he wouldn't look so confoundedly
affectionate.

SEL. Now you understand? Here's the letter and there's the
hat. (Putting them into his hands.) I'm off to dress while _you_
go and buy a directory!

FRED. Buy a directory! I don't want to buy a directory!
I _hate_ directories!

SEL. You should have thought of that before you saved
my life.

(Exit SELWYN, R. U. E.

FRED. I have had three months of this sort of thing. I
came to London for pleasure and I have suffered slavery ever
since. I hadn't been in town two days when looking over the
Serpentine Bridge I beheld a man struggling in the water. I
was weak enough to rescue him, and he immediately proved so
oppressively grateful that I have never been able to escape from
his clutches from that day to this. I would have gone back to
Bristol long ago, but there's my dear little Lottie Blithers
to whom I am secretly married and whom I would not desert for
untold gold. She keeps a glove shop in Bond street and I pass
most of my time in purchasing her stock in trade. This sort
of thing can't go on much longer!

SEL. (re-entering, R. U. E.). What! Not gone yet? Suppose
my wife were to return or that Tompkins should turn up.

FRED (protesting). That's all very well, but----?

SEL. There's no time for "butting" now!

FRED. Damn it! You don't want me to go without a coat,
do you? (He places on the escritoire the hat that SELWYN had
given him and goes off into his room, L. 2 E.)

SEL. (speaking to him off). _Do_ make haste, there's a
good fellow! (Aside.) I _knew_ he wouldn't be ungrateful. I
knew that he wo