own and swore to
cherish her while life endures, "Come out of it," she said, "I'm yours."

He rose, a man of stately frame; J. Roland Percival his name. He had a
high, commanding mien, and seemed possessed of much long green; in
costly fabrics he was dressed, and diamonds flashed upon his breast.

"And so you're mine!" J. Roland cried. "You'll be my own and only
bride! Oh, joy, oh, rapture! I am It! Excuse me while I throw a fit.
Come to my arms, my precious dear! My darling love--but who comes
here?"

De Jones stood in the arbor door, and deadly was the smile he wore.

IV.

J. Roland cried in abject fear: "Great Scott! What are you doing here!

"Well may you ask," said Charles De Jones, in bitter, caustic, scathing
tones. "You've dodged me for a dozen weeks, but now--'tis the avenger
speaks--you'll have to pay up what you owe, or to the county jug you'll
go."

Then turning to the maiden fair, De Jones went on: "That villain there!
Four months ago I sold that man a cook book on th' installment plan.
He gave his solemn pledge to pay, for seven years, two cents a day. He
made two payments, then he flunked. I've hung around the place he
bunked, I've chased him through the rain and sleet, I've boned him on
the public street, I've shadowed him by night and day, but not a kopeck
would he pay. I'm weary of these futile sprints; I'll roast him in the
public prints, and give him such a bum renown he'll be a byword in the
town."

She viewed her lover in amaze, and cold and scornful was her gaze.

"And so the book you handed me, to plight our troth," with ire said
she, "you bought from Charlie here on tick? Skidoo! A deadbeat makes
me sick! I'll never marry any jay who can't dig up two cents a day!"

V.

"I have a bundle in the bank," said Charles, as on his knee he sank,
"and all of it is yours to blow, so let us to the altar go."

"I've learned some things," said L. P. Brown, "and now I would not turn
you down if you were busted flat, my dear; I've learned that love's the
one thing here that's worth a continental dam*; you ask for me--well,
here I am!"

* Dam--A former copper coin.--Dictionary.

THE GREATEST THING

The orator shrieks and clamors, and kicks up a lot of dust, and larrups
and whacks and hammers the weary old sinful Trust; the congressman
chirps and chatters, pursuing his dream of fame; but there's only one
thing that matters, and that is the baseball game. The pessimist