ied
greatly seeking names both sweet and stately, something proud and high
and noble, such as ancient heroes bore. "I shall call him Alexander--"
but an innocent bystander muttered, "Aleck was a tyrant, and he
splashed around in gore." And my aunts said: "Only trust us, and we'll
name him Charles Augustus, which is princely and becoming, and will end
this foolish fuss." But my Cousin James objected: "Nothing else can be
expected, if you give him such a handle, but that folks will call him
Gus." "Let us call the darling Reggie," said my cheerful sister Peggy,
"which is short for Rex or Roland or some other kingly name." But my
Uncle George protested. "Surely," said he, "you but jested: never yet
did youth named Reggie scale the shining height of fame." Thus it was
for weeks together, and I often wondered whether other parents ever
suffered as I did upon the rack. All my uncles and my cousins and my
aunts gave tips by dozens, so I named the babe John Henry, and for
short we call him Jack.

WON AT LAST

I.

"Rise, Charles De Jones, rise, if you please; you don't look well upon
your knees. You say that I must be your bride; in all the whole blamed
countryside no other girl could fill your life with joy and sunshine,
as your wife. What can you offer--you who seek my hand? You draw ten
bucks a week. Shall I your Cheap John wigwam share, the daughter of a
millionaire, who early learned in wealth to bask? Shall I get down to
menial task? Go chase yourself! My hand shall go to one who has a
roll of dough!"

Thus spake Letitia Pinkham Brown, the fairest girl in all the town.
Her lover, crushed beneath the weight of blows from an unkindly fate,
rended his garments and his hair and turned away in dumb despair.

II.

Our hero's feet, of course, were cold, and yet his heart was strong and
bold. "It will not heal this wound of mine," he said, "to murmur and
repine. Though sad my heart, I'll sing and smile, and try to earn a
princely pile; and having got the bullion, then I'll ask her for her
hand again."

He quenched the yearnings of his heart and plunged into the clanging
mart as agent for a handsome book instructing women how to cook. His
volume sold to beat the band and wealth came in hand over hand; but
ever, as he scoured the town, he thought of 'Titia Pinkham Brown, and
scalding tears anon would rise and almost cook his steely eyes.

III.

Once more a lover knelt before Letitia Pinkham Br