e
otherwise? and I resolved not to think of going abroad any more, but to
settle at home according to my father's desire. But, alas! a few days
wore it all off; and in short, to prevent any of my father's farther
importunities, in a few weeks after I resolved to run quite away from
him. However, I did not act so hastily neither as my first heat of
resolution prompted, but I took my mother, at a time when I thought her
a little pleasanter than ordinary, and told her, that my thoughts were
so entirely bent upon seeing the world, that I should never settle to
any thing with resolution enough to go through with it, and my father
had better give me his consent than force me to go without it; that I
was now eighteen years old, which was too late to go apprentice to a
trade, or clerk to an attorney; that I was sure, if I did, I should
never serve out my time, and I should certainly run away from my master
before my time was out, and go to sea; and if she would speak to my
father to let me go one voyage abroad, if I came home again, and did not
like it, I would go no more, and I would promise by a double diligence
to recover that time I had lost.

This put my mother into a great passion: she told me, she knew it would
be to no purpose to speak to my father upon any such subject; that he
knew too well what was my interest to give his consent to any such thing
so much for my hurt; and that she wondered how I could think of any such
thing after such a discourse as I had had with my father, and such kind
and tender expressions as she knew my father had used to me; and that,
in short, if I would ruin myself, there was no help for me; but I might
depend I should never have their consent to it: that for her part she
would not have so much hand in my destruction; and I should never have
it to say, that my mother was willing when my father was not.

Though my mother refused to move it to my father, yet, as I have heard
afterwards, she reported all the discourse to him, and that my father,
after shewing a great concern at it, said to her with a sigh, "That boy
might be happy if he would stay at home; but if he goes abroad, he will
be the most miserable wretch that was ever born; I can give no
consent to it."

It was not till almost a year after this that I broke loose, though, in
the meantime, I continued obstinately deaf to all proposals of settling
to business, and frequently expostulating with my father and mother
about their being