el sometimes as if I were dead. I wish I could know whether Uncle
Peter and Aunt Beulah were married yet. I wish I could know that.
There is a woman in this hospital whose suitor married some one else,
and she has nervous prostration, and melancholia. All she does all day
is to moan and wring her hands and call out his name. The nurses are
not very sympathetic. They seem to think that it is disgraceful to
love a man so much that your whole life stops as soon as he goes out
of it. What of Juliet and Ophelia and Francesca de Rimini? They loved
so they could not tear their love out of their hearts without
lacerating them forever. There is that kind of love in the
world,--bigger than life itself. All the big tragedies of literature
were made from it,--why haven't people more sympathy for it? Why isn't
there more dignity about it in the eyes of the world?

"It is very unlucky to love, and to lose that which you cherish, but
it is unluckier still never to know the meaning of love, or to find
'Him whom your soul loveth.' I try to be kind to that poor forsaken
woman. I am sorry for his sake that she calls out his name, but she
seems to be in such torture of mind and body that she is unable to
help it.

"They are trying to cut down expenses here, so they have no regular
cook, the housekeeper and her helper are supposed to do it all. I said
I would make the desserts, so now I have got to go down-stairs and
make some fruit gelatin. It is best that I should not write any more
to-day, anyway."

* * * * *

Later, after the Thanksgiving holiday, she wrote:

* * * * *

"I saw a little boy butchered to-day, and I shall never forget it. It
is wicked to speak of Doctor Blake's clean cut work as butchery, but
when you actually see a child's leg severed from its body, what else
can you call it?

"The reason that I am able to go through operations without fainting
or crying is just this: _other people do_. The first time I stood by
the operating table to pass the sterilized instruments to the
assisting nurse, and saw the half naked doctors hung in rubber
standing there preparing to carve their way through the naked flesh of
the unconscious creature before them, I felt the kind of pang pass
through my heart that seems to kill as it comes. I thought I died, or
was dying,--and then I looked up and saw that every one else was ready
for their work. So I d