or play upon words,--in short,
containing that indignity to the human understanding, condemned in the
passages from the distinguished moralist of the last century and the
illustrious historian of the present, which I cited on a former
occasion, and known as a _pun_. After breakfast, one of the boarders
handed me a small roll of paper containing some of the questions and
their answers. I subjoin two or three of them, to show what a tendency
there is to frivolity and meaningless talk in young persons of a
certain sort, when not restrained by the presence of more reflective
natures.--It was asked, "Why tertian and quartan fevers were like
certain short-lived insects." Some interesting physiological relation
would be naturally suggested. The inquirer blushes to find that the
answer is in the paltry equivocation, that they _skip_ a day or
two.--"Why an Englishman must go to the Continent to weaken his grog
or punch." The answer proves to have no relation whatever to the
temperance-movement, as no better reason is given than that
island--(or, as it is absurdly written, _ile and_) water won't
mix.--But when I came to the next question and its answer, I felt that
patience ceased to be a virtue. "Why an onion is like a piano" is a
query that a person of sensibility would be slow to propose; but that
in an educated community an individual could be found to answer it in
these words,--"Because it smell odious," _quasi_, it's melodious,--is
not credible, but too true. I can show you the paper.

Dear reader, I beg your pardon for repeating such things. I know most
conversations reported in books are altogether above such trivial
details, but folly will come up at every table as surely as purslain
and chickweed and sorrel will come up in gardens. This young fellow
ought to have talked philosophy, I know perfectly well; but he
didn't,--he made jokes.

I am willing,--I said,--to exercise your ingenuity in a rational and
contemplative manner.--No, I do not proscribe certain forms of
philosophical speculation which involve an approach to the absurd or
the ludicrous, such as you may find, for example, in the folio of the
Reverend Father Thomas Sanchez, in his famous tractate, "De Sancto
Matrimonio." I will therefore turn this levity of yours to profit by
reading you a rhymed problem, wrought out by my friend the Professor.

THE DEACON'S MASTERPIECE: OR THE WONDERFUL "ONE-HOSS-SHAY."

A LOGICAL STORY.

Have you heard of the wonder