egg left, says
distinctly, "I will take an egg if you please." But as this is
addressed to no one in particular, no one in particular answers
it, unless it happen that her husband is at table before her, and
then he says, "There are no eggs, my dear." Whereupon the lady
president evidently cannot hear, and the greedy culprit who has
swallowed two eggs (for there are always as many eggs as noses)
looks pretty considerably afraid of being found out. The
breakfast proceeds in sombre silence, save that sometimes a
parrot, and sometimes a canary bird, ventures to utter a timid
note. When it is finished, the gentlemen hurry to their
occupation, and the quiet ladies mount the stairs, some to the
first, some to the second, and some to the third stories, in an
inverse proportion to the number of dollars paid, and ensconce
themselves in their respective chambers. As to what they do
there it is not very easy to say, but I believe they clear-starch
a little, and iron a little, and sit in a rocking-chair, and sew
a great deal. I always observed that the ladies who boarded,
wore more elaborately worked collars and petticoats than any one
else. The plough is hardly a more blessed instrument in America
than the needle. How could they live without it? But time and
the needle wear through the longest morning, and happily the
American morning is not very long, even though they breakfast at
eight.

It is generally about two o'clock that the boarding gentlemen
meet the boarding ladies at dinner. Little is spoken, except a
whisper between the married pairs. Sometimes a sulky bottle of
wine flanks the plate of one or two individuals, but it adds
nothing to the mirth of the meeting, and seldom more than one
glass to the good cheer of the owners, it is not then, and it is
not there, that the gentlemen of the Union drink. Soon, very
soon, the silent meal is done, and then, if you mount the stairs
after them, you will find from the doors of the more affectionate
and indulgent wives, a smell of cigars steam forth, which plainly
indicates the felicity of the couple within. If the gentleman be
a very polite husband, he will, as soon as he has done smoking
and drinking his toddy, offer his arm to his wife, as far as the
corner of the street, where his store, or his office is situated,
and there he will leave her to turn which way she likes. As this
is the hour for being full dressed, of course she turns the way
she can be most seen.