c. Dost thou know
what I was doing? I was thinking of thee, and yearning. I wanted to
gather in that sea, that calm, and that music, and give the whole to
thee.

"Dost thou wish that we should live in some place at the seashore far
from Rome, my Augusta? I have land in Sicily, on which there is an
almond forest which has rose-colored blossoms in spring, and this forest
goes down so near the sea that the tips of the branches almost touch the
water. There I will love thee and magnify Paul's teaching, for I
know now that it will not be opposed to love and happiness. Dost
thou wish?--But before I hear thy answer I will write further of what
happened on the boat.

"Soon the shore was far behind. We saw a sail before us in the
distance, and all at once a dispute rose as to whether it was a common
fishing-boat or a great ship from Ostia. I was the first to discover
what it was, and then the Augusta said that for my eyes evidently
nothing was hidden, and, dropping the veil over her face on a sudden,
she inquired if I could recognize her thus. Petronius answered
immediately that it was not possible to see even the sun behind a cloud;
but she said, as if in jest, that love alone could blind such a piercing
glance as mine, and, naming various women of the court, she fell to
inquiring and guessing which one I loved. I answered calmly, but at last
she mentioned thy name. Speaking of thee, she uncovered her face again,
and looked at me with evil and inquiring eyes.

"I feel real gratitude to Petronius, who turned the boat at that moment,
through which general attention was taken from me; for had I heard
hostile or sneering words touching thee, I should not have been able to
hide my anger, and should have had to struggle with the wish to break
the head of that wicked, malicious woman with my oar. Thou rememberest
the incident at the pond of Agrippa about which I told thee at the house
of Linus on the eve of my departure. Petronius is alarmed on my account,
and to-day again he implored me not to offend the Augusta's vanity. But
Petronius does not understand me, and does not realize that, apart from
thee, I know no pleasure or beauty or love, and that for Poppaea I
feel only disgust and contempt. Thou hast changed my soul greatly,--so
greatly that I should not wish now to return to my former life. But have
no fear that harm may reach me here. Poppaea does not love me, for she
cannot love any one, and her desires arise only from anger