knocking, and I find that it is
opened unto me. Oh, mother! Why must it be by means of such tremendous
events, poised so narrowly between life and death, that the greatness
and goodness, the readiness for martyrdom of the human heart, must be
developed? Why not in peace, in love, in quiet cares?

That will be the millennium, you have often said, when the best
qualities will no longer unfold in struggle, but in beauty and
peacefulness. You, my mother, are a messenger and a witness from the
paradise-world beyond the strife. Rejoice, as we rejoice, that you are
this messenger, this witness. I will become like you, I am and will be
your daughter, and will grow ever more truly so.

It is well that I was interrupted in this. Lilian has a fresh voice,
and our friend Knopf's betrothed sings beautifully. We have practised
pieces in which I accompany Lilian's singing on the harp. Oh, if we
could send some of those tones over the sea! In the midst of the uproar
of life around us, here we sit and sing by the hour together. Now I
understand anew that saying, that art is a redeemer;--that saying of
father's.

Why is the word father so harrowing to my soul? How happy it was for my
mother to be snatched away as she was! When I fall into this train of
thought, I always feel as if entering a desert, far, far away; nowhere
anything cheering to the eye or refreshing to the soul. We must bear
it.

I see with sorrow that I am writing confusedly; but you know and
believe me, when I say that I am really calm, and, above all, you are
to know that I never burden our Eric with these heavy thoughts. It is
less from intention than--no, as soon as he comes, all dread and grief
vanish; everything is light, sunshine, day.

Three days later.

Eric has returned with Roland from Washington. They have much to tell,
and Roland is in a state of enthusiasm which you can easily picture to
yourself.

Have I already told you that our friend Knopf has found a charming
little wife? She is full of intelligence, modesty, and energy. She,
too, has had religious conflicts to undergo, as I have, not so severe;
but then she has had a hard fight with herself. Lilian, too, young as
she is, is far riper than her years, on account of her zeal for making
converts.

She was sent to Germany, and our friend Knopf there accomplished a good
work. Lillian has become a sister to me, and we talk much of how she
shall go