And bitterly addressed him thus--
"Sir! you have disappointed us!
We had intended you to be
The next Prime Minister but three:
The stocks were sold; the Press was squared:
The Middle Class was quite prepared.
But as it is!... My language fails!

[Illustration]

Go out and govern New South Wales!"

* * *

The Aged Patriot groaned and died:
And gracious! how Lord Lundy cried!

[Illustration]

REBECCA,

_Who slammed Doors for Fun and Perished Miserably._

A Trick that everyone abhors
In Little Girls is slamming Doors.
A

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Wealthy Banker's
Little Daughter

[Illustration]

Who lived in Palace Green, Bayswater
(By name Rebecca Offendort),
Was given to this Furious Sport.

She would deliberately go

[Illustration]

And Slam the door like
Billy-Ho!
To make
her

[Illustration]

Uncle Jacob start.
She was not really bad at heart,
But only rather rude and wild:
She was an aggravating child....

It happened that a Marble Bust
Of Abraham was standing just
Above the Door this little Lamb
Had carefully prepared to Slam,
And Down it came! It knocked her flat!
It laid her out! She looked like that.

[Illustration]

* * *

Her funeral Sermon (which was long
And followed by a Sacred Song)
Mentioned her Virtues, it is true,
But dwelt upon her Vices too,
And showed the Dreadful End of One
Who goes and slams the door for Fun.

* * *

The children who were brought to hear
The awful Tale from far and near
Were much impressed,
and inly swore
They never more would slam the Door.
--As often they had done before.

[Illustration]

GEORGE,

_Who played with a Dangerous Toy, and suffered a Catastrophe of
considerable Dimensions._

When George's Grandmamma was told

[Illustration]

That George had been as good as Gold,
She Promised in the Afternoon
To buy him an _Immense BALLOON_.
And

[Illustration]

so she did; but when it came,
It got into the candle flame,
And being of a dangerous sort
Exploded

[Illustration]

with a loud report!

The Lights went out! The Windows broke!