ual phraseology of the missionaries. He
had painted on a big sign:

"BUY OUR PANCE!
THEY FIT YOU BETTER AND
THEY WARM YOUR LEGS LIKE THE
LOVE OF GOD!"

Perhaps the most exhilaratingly humorous thing that the Japanese have
perpetrated on the Koreans was a list of advices printed and posted all
over Korea by the Police Department as to the regulation of Fords:

RULES!

1. At the rise of hand of policeman, stop rapidly. Do not pass
him by or otherwise disrespect him.

2. When a passenger of the foot hove in sight, tootle the horn
trumpet to him melodiously at first. If he still obstacles your
passage, tootle him with vigor and express by word of the mouth
the warning, "hi, hi."

3. Beware of the wandering horse that he shall not take fright
as you pass him. Do not explode the exhaust box at him. Go
soothingly by, or stop by the roadside till he gently pass
away.

4. Give big space to the festive dog that make sport in the
roadway. Avoid entanglement of dog with your wheel spokes.

5. Go soothingly on the grease-mud, as there lurk the
skid-demon. Press the brake of the foot as you roll around the
corners to save the collapse and tie-up.

6. Number of people you put in the Ford: You put two in the
front house and three in the back house.

There were other rules but this list will be sufficient as a Flash-light
of Fun to give some idea of the ridiculous way in which the average
Japanese twists the ideas and phraseology of English in the
translations.

I saw one great sign which brought a smile. It was up on the island of
Hokkaido. It had printed in large English letters:

"GET YOUR MOTHER'S MILK HERE!"

Below that sentence there was a picture of a cow which looked as much
like a combination of an Elephant and a Camel as anything I know. The
artist must have been a wonder. Attached to each of the cow's udders
were long lines of hose that ran for about ten feet across a big
bill-board. At the end of each line of hose was a nipple, like our
American baby-nipples. At the end of each nipple there was a man-sized
baby pulling away at the nipple. It was one of the funniest advertising
signs I ever saw. I watched several Americans look up at it and every
one of them laughed aloud. And the funny thing about it was that it was
intended to be a serious advertising sign.

* * * * *

At a banquet