and_ BENJAMIN _kneel in attitudes of entreaty on either
side of the Man-trap, which shows signs of increasing emotion
as the song proceeds._

BENJAMIN (_sings_). | WILLIAM (_sings_).
|
Man-trap, bitter our distress is | In his downward course arrest him!
That you have unkindly penned | (He may take a virtuous tack);
In your innermost recesses | Pause awhile, ere you digest him.
One who used to be our friend! | Make an effort--bring him back!

[_The Man-trap is convulsed by a violent heave_; WILLIAM _and_
BENJAMIN_ bend forward in an agony of expectation, until a
small shoe and the leg of_ THOMAS'S _pantaloons are finally
emitted from the Monster's jaws._

_Benj._ (_exultantly_). See, WILLIAM, now he's coming ... here's his
shoe for you!

_The Man-trap_ (_with an accent of genuine regret_). I'm sorry--but
that's all that I can do for you!

_Wm._ (_raising the shoe and the leg of pantaloons, and holding them
sorrowfully at arm's length_). He's met the fate which moralists
all promise is
The end of such depraved careers as THOMAS's!
Oh, BENJAMIN, take warning by it _be_-time!

(_More brightly_). But now to wash our hands--'tis nearly tea-time!
[_Exeunt_ WILLIAM _and_ BENJAMIN, _to wash their hands, as Curtain
falls. N.B. This finale is more truly artistic, and in accordance
with modern dramatic ideas, than the conventional "picture."_

* * * * *

"A MONTAGU! A MONTAGU!"--Our common-sense Magistrate, Mr. Montagu
WILLIAMS, heavily fined a steam-rolling demon, which comes in our
streets as anything but a boon and a blessing to men and horses. _A
propos_ of this "worthy beak," when are his "Reminiscences" to appear?
The book is bound,--no, not yet, or it would have been published,--but,
when it is ready, it is bound to be amusing.

* * * * *

NOTICE.--Rejected Communications or Contributions, whether MS., Printed
Matter, Drawings, or Pictures of any description, will in no case be
returned, not even when accompanied by a Stamped and Addressed Envelope,
Cover, or Wrapper. To this rule there will be no exception.

End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of Punch, or the London Charivari, Vol.
98 January 11, 1890, by Va