inform you that they have reported
your misconduct to the Lord Bishop, and I am desired accordingly to send
you a copy of their letter. By order of committee.--I am, sir,

"JAMES JONES."

Enclosed was the following, which these wiseacres had concocted--and I
have no doubt it was their pride in the composition, and in the
penmanship, which induced them to send the copy to the Curate.

"TO MY LORD, YOUR LORDSHIP THE BISHOP.

"We the undersigned, the respectable inhabitants parishioners, approach
most dutifully our Bishop's worshipful Lordship. Hoping humbly that you
will be pleased to dismiss our curate, who, we are credibly informed,
and particularly by three exemplary and virtuous ladies, they having
been cautioned against him by one who knows him well, and is a friend
likewise to said ladies, and doing all the good kindness he can. We
learn with sorrow, that our curate has confessed to unbecomingly
behaviour, and that he has been seen even kissing. My Lord, our wives
and daughters are not safe--we implore your Honour's Lordship to dismiss
the curate, and take them under your protection and keeping: We are
informed the curate has a foreign lady, not far from this, whom he
almost daily visits--and a Papist, which is an offence to your Lordship,
and the glorious Protestant cause, to which we are uniformly and
respectfully attached, and to your worshipful Lordship very devoted--"
here follow the names, headed by Matthew Miffins.

"And what steps do you intend to take?" said I.

"None whatever," said he.

"Let it wear itself out. I won't lengthen the existence of this scandal
by the smallest patronage. I will not take it up, so it will die."

"But the Bishop?" said I.

"Is a man of sense," he replied, "and good feeling; so all is safe, in
his hands."

We parted for the night.

The Curate called rather early the following morning, and we thought to
have an hour over Catullus, and went to seek our host Gratian. We found
him in his library in consultation with his factotum Jahn. He was
eloquent on the salting, and not burning his weeds, on Dutch
clover--"and mind, Jahn," said he, "every orchard should have a
pig-stye: where pigs are kept, there apple-trees will thrive well, and
bear well, if there be any fruit going:" and he moved his stick on the
floor from habit, as if he were rubbing his pigs' backs; and then
turning to us he said,--"Why, Jahn has been telling me strange things:
Prateapace and Gadabout hav