son.
{43b} He was a big man; but, lawk! he was wonnerful paad over with
rheumatics, that he was. I lived in the house, and arter I had done up
my hosses, and looked arter my stock, I alluz went to bed arly. One
night I h'ard {43c} my missus halloin' at the bottom of the stairs.
"John," sez she, "yeou must git up di-rectly, and go for the doctor; yar
master's took werry bad." So I hulled {43d} on my clothes, put the
saddle on owd Boxer, and warn't long gittin to the doctor's, for the owd
hoss stromed along stammingly, {43e} he did. When the doctor come, he
saa to master, "Yeou ha' got the _lump-ague_ in yar lines; {43f} yeou
must hiv a hot baath." "What's that?" sez master. "Oh!" sez the doctor,
"yeou must hiv yar biggest tub full o' hot water, and laa in it ten
minnits." Sune as he was gone, missus saa, "Dew yeou go and call Sam
Driver, and I'll hit {44a} the copper." When we cum back, she saa, "Dew
yeou tew {44b} take the mashin'-tub up-stairs, and when the water biles
yeou cum for it." So, byne by we filled the tub, and missus saa, "John,
dew yeou take yar master's hid; {44c} and Sam, yeou take his feet, and
drop 'im in." We had a rare job to lift him, I warrant; but we dropt him
in, and, O lawk! how he did screech!--yeou might ha' h'ard 'im a mile
off. He splounced out o' the tub flop upon the floor, and dew all we
could we coon't 'tice him in agin. "Yeou willans," sez he, "yeou've kilt
me." But arter a bit we got him to bed, and he laa kind o' easy, till
the doctor cum next mornin'. Then he towd the doctor how bad he was. The
doctor axed me what we'd done. So I towd him, and he saa, "Was the water
warm?" "Warm!" sez I, "'twould ommost ha' scalt a hog." Oh, how he did
laff! "Why, John bor," sez he, "yeou must ha' meant to bile yar master
alive." Howsomdiver, master lost the _lump-ague_ and nivver sed nothin'
about the tub, 'cept when he saa to me sometimes kind o' joky, "John bor,
dew yeou alluz kip {44d} out o' hot water."

JOHN DUTFEN. {44e}

This story has a sequel. My father told it once at the dinner-table of
one of the canons in Norwich. Every one laughed more or less, all but
one, the Rev. "Hervey Du Bois," a rural dean from the Fens. He alone
made no sign. But he was staying in the house; and that night the
Canoness was aroused from her sleep by a strange gurgling sound
proceeding from his room. She listened and listened, till, convinced
that their guest must be in a fit, she at las