' two more widdys that were
comin' down upon him like kites on a young rabbit?

"Well, it's a mighty improvin' shtory, fur it shows that widdys can be
baten whin they're afther a husband, that some doesn't belave, but they do
say it takes a witch, the divil, an' an owld maid to do it, an' some think
that all o' thim isn't aiquel to a widdy, aven if there's three o' thim
an' but wan av her.

"The razon av it is this. Widdy wimmin are like lobsthers, whin they wanst
ketch holt, begob, they've no consate av lettin' go at all, but will
shtick to ye tighter than a toe-nail, till ye've aither to marry thim or
murther thim, that's the wan thing in the end; fur if ye marry thim ye're
talked to death, an' if ye murther thim ye 're only dacintly hanged out o'
the front dure o' the jail. Whin they're afther a husband, they're as busy
as owld Nick, an' as much in airnest as a dog in purshoot av a flea.
More-be-token, they're always lookin' fur the proper man, an' if they see
wan that they think will shuit, bedad, they go afther him as strait as an
arrer, an' if he doesn't take the alarum an' run like a shape-thief, the
widdy 'ull have him afore the althar an' married fast an' tight while he'd
be sayin' a Craydo.

"They know so much be wan axpayrience av marryin', that, barrin' it's a
widdy man that's in it, an' he knows as much as thimselves, they'll do for
him at wanst, bekase it's well undhershtood that a bach'ler, aither young
or owld, has as much show av outshtrappin' a widdy as a mouse agin a
weasel.

"Now, this Misther Dooley was an owld bach'ler, nigh on five an' thirty,
an' about fifteen years ago, come next Advint, he come from Cork wid a bit
o' money, an' tuk the farm beyant Misther McCoole's on the lift as ye come
out o' Galway. He wasn't a bad lookin' felly, an' liked the ladies, an'
the first time he was in chapel afther takin' the farm, aitch widdy an'
owld maid set the two eyes av her on him, an' the Widdy Mulligan says to
herself, says she, 'Faix, that's just the man to take the place av me dear
Dinnis,' fur, ye see, the widdys always do spake that-a-way av their
husbands, a-givin' thim the good word afther they're dead, so as to make
up fur the tongue lashin's they give 'em whin they're alive. It's quare,
so it is, phat widdys are like. Whin ye see a widdy at the wake schraimin'
fit to shplit yer head wid the noise, an' flingin' herself acrass the
grave at the berryin' like it was a bag o' male she was, an' thin