nd all, we are in danger of looking only on that which is
desirable in them to our woefull Disquiet.... I do not see but
that the Match is well liked by judicious persons, and such as
are your Cordial Friends, and mine also.

"Yet notwithstanding, if you find in yourself an imovable
incurable Aversion from him, and cannot love, and honour, and
obey him, I shall say no more, nor give you any further trouble
in this matter. It had better be off than on. So praying God to
pardon us, and pity our Undeserving, and to direct and strengthen
and settle you in making a right Judgment, and giving a right
Answer, I take leave, who, am, dear child, your loving
father...."[250]

_IV. The Banns and the Ceremony_

After the formal engagement, when the dowry and contract had been agreed
upon and signed, the publishing of the banns occurred. Probably this
custom was general throughout the colonies; indeed, the Church of
England required it in Virginia and South Carolina; the Catholics
demanded it in Maryland; the Dutch in New York and the Quakers in
Pennsylvania sanctioned it. Sewall mentions the ceremony several times,
and evidently looked upon it as a proper, if not a required, procedure.

And who performed the marriage ceremony in those old days? To-day most
Americans look upon it as an office of the clergyman, although a few
turn to a civil officer in this hour of need; but in the early years of
the Plymouth and Massachusetts Bay Colonies it is highly probable that
only a magistrate was allowed to marry the contracting parties. Those
first American Puritans had a fear of church ceremony, and for some
years conducted both weddings and funerals without the formal services
of a preacher. By Judge Sewall's time, either clergyman or magistrate
might perform the office; but all symptoms of formality or worldly pomp
were frowned upon, and the union was made generally with the utmost
simplicity and quietness. We may turn again to the Judge's Diary for
brief pictures of the equally brief ceremony:

"Tuesday, 1688. Mr. Nath. Newgate Marries Mr. Lynds Daughter
before Mr. Ratcliff, with Church of England Ceremonies."[251]

"Thorsday, Oct. 4th, 1688. About 5 P.M. Mr. Willard (the pastor)
married Mr. Samuel Danforth and Mrs. Hannah Alien."[252]

"Feb. 24, 1717-8. In the evening I married Joseph Marsh.... I
gave them a glass of Canary."

"Apr. 4, 1