tinctive by scorning all things American. They want
English chintzes in their homes, French brocades and Italian silks and
do not even know that some of these very textiles from America have won
prizes in Europe since 1912. An American manufacturer told me he has to
stamp his cretonne "English style print" to sell it in this country.

This new species of American apes royalty. It goes in for crests. It
may have made its money in gum shoes or chewing tobacco, but it hires a
genealogist to dig up a shield. Fine, if you are entitled to a crest.
But fake genealogists will cook up a coat for the price.

There are crests on the motor-cars, crests on the stationery, on the
silver, the toilet articles--there are sometimes even crests on the
servants' buttons and on linen and underclothes!

Fake crests are the first step down, and like all lies they lead to
other lies. The next step is ancestors.

Selling and painting ancestors is another business which thrives around
New York, Philadelphia, and Washington. And the public swallows it.
They swallow each other's ancestors. Even old families take these new
descendants as a matter of course.

One of these new Americans recently gave a large feast in Washington
with every out-of-season delicacy in profusion. The only simple thing
in the house was the mind of the hostess. That night it was a tangled
skein.

I saw she was worried. Her house was full of potentates, the wives of
two cabinet officers, and Mrs. Coolidge. She left the room twice after
the dinner hour had arrived, and it was late when dinner was finally
announced.

Later in the evening one of the servants whispered to the hostess that
she was wanted on the telephone--the State Department.

She returned to the drawing-room looking as if she had just heard of a
death in the family. The guests began considerately to leave.

Her expensive party was a dismal failure. As I have known her husband
for years, I asked if I could be of any use.

[Illustration: p104.jpg HER EXPENSIVE PARTY WAS A DISMAL FAILURE]

"It 's too late, now," he said. "She had the Princess Bibesco and the
Princess Lubomirska here and the wife of the Vice President, and she
didn't know the precedence they took. She held up dinner half an hour
trying to get the State Department and now they tell her she guessed
wrong. It 's a tragedy to her."

I confess I did not feel very sorry for that woman. I remembered my
little Indiana girl