nd,
the picture of the Virgin that hung over her bed, with rosaries and palms
entwined about it, the photographs of her girl-friends standing on her
writing table in pretty frames of old-fashioned silk-all seemed to see
her depart with a look of sympathy.
She went down to the dining-room, resolved to prove that she would not
submit to punishment. The best way to brave Madame de Nailles was, she
thought, to affect great calmness and indifference, aye, even, if she
could, some gayety. But the task before her was more difficult than she
had expected. Apparently, as a proof of reconciliation, Marien had been
kept to dinner. To see him so soon again after his words of outrage was
more than she could bear. For one moment the earth seemed to sink under
her feet; she roused her pride by an heroic effort, and that sustained
her. She exchanged with the artist, as she always did, a friendly
"Good-evening!" and ate her dinner, though it nearly choked her.
Madame de Nailles had red eyes; and Jacqueline made the reflection that
women who are thirty-five should never weep. She knew that her face had
not been made ugly by her tears, and this gave her a perverse
satisfaction in the midst of her misery. Of Marien she thought: "He sits
there as if he had been put 'en penitence'." No doubt he could not endure
scenes, and the one he had just passed through must have given him the
downcast look which Jacqueline noticed with contempt.
What she did not know was that his depression had more than one cause. He
felt--and felt with shame and with discouragement--that the fetters of a
connection which had long since ceased to charm had been fastened on his
wrists tighter than ever; and he thought: "I shall lose all my energy, I
shall lose even my talent! While I wear these chains I shall see ever
before me--ah! tortures of Tantalus!--the vision of a new love, fresh as
the dawn which beckons to me as it passes before my sight, which lays on
me the light touch of a caress, while I am forced to see it glide away,
to let it vanish, disappear forever! And alas! that is not all. If I have
deceived an inexperienced heart by words spoken or deeds done in a moment
of weakness or temptation, can I flatter myself that I have acted like an
honest man?"
This is what Marien was really thinking, while Jacqueline looked at him
with an expression she strove to make indifferent, but which he
interpreted, though she knew it not: "You have done me all the harm
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